Did you wake up this morning to find you were missing your right foot?

Chances are it's in Vancouver.
How utterly bizarre. Where are all these people without their feet? And why Vancouver? Is someone dumping bodies or does the ocean current just drop them there? I might have to look at a currents map later today, something interesting and new!

So my Mom is coming. And this is cool because she's coming without the dog, without the husband, and without my brother, SIL or chibi niece. Not that I don't love each of them in my own way for their particular gifts, talents, and reflection as a facet of reality. But honestly? Sometimes you just want to hang out with one person at a time. I don't believe my Father's wife even remotely has a grasp of this concept, as she tends to invite as much of her family as possible and then the neighborhood kids just for good measure. The cacophony is enough to deafen one of the more delicate types. We Davises are a humble, stoic people that really can only handle so much of mixing it up in big, loud groups of people. We prefer our friends to be at arm's length, with plenty of room to hang out at places other than our own house, and in small tight-knit groups of 3-5. And occasionally we even allow ourselves
Said the girl who whethered the Philly Zoo in 90 degree weather and had a terrific time. Hey, there were Galapagos Tortoises there. Those are awesome in the clinical sense of the thing. And a zoo is something every child needs to experience at least once to develop that sense of wonder about the bigger world. If the biggest animal you've ever seen is the dog, you're never going to get the perspective seeing an elephant gives. But I digress. And yes, the previous paragraph was full of crap, but still does not lessen the fact that I like one-on-one time with my family!
We've devised a great many activities to do with my Mom once she arrives that are guaranteed to put her completely out of her element and ensure that if we aren't drunk, we probably should be before we continue with some of them.
I fully intend to engage my mom in a Dance Dance Revolution competition, followed by some Donkey Konga and maybe some Mario Kart Racing. After that I'm not sure, but I think perhaps we may try to initiate her in the Ghost Hunters drinking game since she'll be here Wednesday.
And I write all of this out knowing she reads it, too. This is my attempt to give her some warning.
Eh, maybe if she's cool about the DDR we'll just sit on the couch and knit. But I have a feeling she'll be nasty and use the green shell while we're tearing up the track in Mario Kart, so I've got to see that go down.