Saturday, January 31, 2009

"All of this has happened before. All of this will happen again."

I put my pet mouse in the ground last night. Some time Wednesday night Lenny crawled out from under her little fleece blanket she loved to burrow in, curled up in the corner, and died.
I didn't see her until I was picking up my bag to go to work, so I had to wait all day through work until I could take care of her. When I got home, i wrapped her in the little fleece blanket I'd given her when she was sick, we gathered up the last of the tequila, and went outside. Everything is frozen right now, so I put her in a hole in the earth on the side of the house and covered her with stones. Then, just because it's a habit of mine to leave offerings for the dead, we poured tequila out for her. I just can't beat the feeling that if she'd been human, she would've been a tequila kinda gal.
Before going inside we stopped to watch ice chips slide down the gentle slope of the frozen backyard and admire the reflection of the lights on the solid ice everywhere. We lit the candle that's been sitting outside since the summer and let it burn the whole way out after we went inside.
She never let me pet her, and would jump and hide when I tried. But as Bob reminded me, she was always ever the fierce survival mouse, and it didn't change the fact that she beat up my pet snake, earning her the right to live through to old age like she did. Truth be told, she was snuffling a lot and sneezed quite often the last little bit, and I got the impression it might've been hard for her to breathe. So at least she isn't struggling anymore.
At this point, you are probably very aware that death tends to be a profound occurrence, despite the fact that it's guaranteed daily. I'm sad, but not debilitated. Just excessively ponderous on it.
Today was an interesting counterpoint. The morning was beautiful, with a crystal clear sunrise. The ice was still glittering and gleaming, reflecting the rose and light blue of the sky. The air was brisk but not freezing. And I drove to work.
The day was mostly uneventful. I'm dying under the tickets and the lack of energy for the last few days since Snowmaggedon.
I wasn't ready at all for what happened on the way home. Bob warned me of it in a text, but even with that I still didn't expect what occurred.
The knot of us driving along on the turnpike drove suddenly in to a snow squall and amid the sudden flash of red break lights I got a moment in the slowed traffic to take a look around at what was happening. It was a sudden nearly blinding flurry of white flakes that swirled around us. In spite of this, the sun still showed through in a faint golden glow, and the whole world was made of the pink and gold light and the whiteness of the snow. It was so beautiful I felt a pang in my chest the way that sometimes happens when you know you're seeing a rare moment that might not come again. Then in a matter of a few short minutes it was gone and there was nothing left but a setting sun and my exit ramp. But it was still a perfect moment, and I'm smiling just to think on it. Something about it's brevity and how it dropped in to my day just seemed very ~right~.
This evening Bob and I tried the new barbecue place that opened down the way. The owners are incredibly friendly, going around often to ask how people are enjoying themselves. The pork and brisket are wonderful. The chicken is not bad, but from here on out I'll be ordering other things. We really liked it, and we'll be headed back. No one else has a shop like it in the area, and I wish them luck while things are in a downturn.
Delaware yielded its usual load of beverages, although they were light on the framboise this time around and we had to make due with two smaller bottles instead of one big one. Oh darn. I think I'll make do either way. :)
We also grabbed some Sapporo and some Kirin Ichiban beer.... you know, for the purpose of research for Japan. We gotta know what they drink at the bars there!
And with that, my Friday is over and I'm tired and cold. Time to retire to bed. Daisy is curled up behind me and Chaucer is to my right .I almost don't want to move, but my feet are freezing down here and I need to go to bed.
G'night Lenny. Enjoy your freedom.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Actual conversation 40-something by now...

Ben: story A) The signs can be hacked! story B) a sign just got hacked TODAY!
Ben: coincidence?
Ben: i think not
Helen: Ahhh....
Helen: Yeah.
Helen: I figured a whole rash was going to kick off now. :-)
Helen: Actually... I was going to see if I could hack the turnpike sign...
Helen: 30 foot billboard proclaiming "Zombie infestation ahead. Please drive defensively"
Helen: It doesn't matter what you put up there, people always slam on their breaks so they can read it. It's the least affective thing ever.
Helen: The point is to convey information so people can keep driving.
Helen: Instead, people go OMFG IT SAYS SOMETHING JUST FOR MEEE GOTTA SLOW DOWN! *SLAM*
Helen Clark: And then there's nearly this 12 car pileup so they can read "Please drive safely"
Helen: EVERY AFTERNOON, BEN...
Helen: Yeah. I gotta go change that sign.
Ben: hahaha
Helen Clark: ?
Ben: ur funneh
Helen: Ohhhh kk
Helen: I send you pikshur when I does it...if i does it.
Helen: Kinda high up thar.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes....

Nothing quite like a 45-mile-long hydroplane to make your commute super-interesting. I don't believe there's any adrenalin left in me little glands right now.

A few thoughts that are sage wisdom to me right now:

~Snickers really satisfies. It's the peanuts that do it, because a Milky Way doesn't do jack shit if you have a Snickers craving. Possibly eating peanuts with a Milky Way bar would do the trick.

~If someone says something is really difficult to do, try it. Not for bragging rights, but so you can see where they might have gotten caught up. It gives you a little insight in to other peoples' thoughts on things.

~Homemade chicken noodle soup is awesome. If you can do that instead of canned, it will be worth the wait. Bob and I had our first Cooking Together Tuesday and chose that...it turned out awesome.

~Wave to kids on school buses. They still get a kick out of it, even with as savvy and world-wise as they've become these days.

~If you think something is wrong and you know how to take care of it, just do it. Don't think about it. Don't ponder getting over it eventually or waiting for it to pass. Just do it. Things will fall in to place for it to happen.

~Make something by hand every week. This time we live in can make one feel very alienated from who they are and what they can do. You may be a secretary, but also hold several 1st place ribbons for Meringue dancing. You're a lawyer, but none since Shakespeare have penned such pithy quatrains. Do it. Even if you're bad at it, do it. So many times we do and do and do for others in terms of families and jobs... take a moment to just make something that has no specific point and is only for you. Stash it somewhere secret and smile about it to yourself from time to time.

~Snow is sacred the way the burnished leaves of fall are sacred, the way the droning locusts of summer are sacred, the way the first crocuses of spring are sacred. Sacred the way the fireplace on a cold night is, sacred the way sunburns after a day playing outside are. Sacred the way getting sand from the beach off your feet is, or raking up the first pile of leaves to jump in. Take a moment to remember that, smile at it, and honor it. These things are fleeting and pass by very quickly.

~Failing is awesome. It means you can see how well you improved the next time you try something. That's a bigger ego boost than getting it right the first time, and you learn more. Knowledge is infinitely sexy.

~You can never know exactly what loved ones or coworkers are thinking. Usually it has nothing to do with you. Try to breathe and remember that when they get stressed. It's never personal. And most of the time they even love you. :)

~When you know you're not meant to do something or be somewhere anymore, exit gracefully. Don't waste time in hemming and hawing, don't cause drama by making a loud exit, or taking too long to exit. Just slip out, move on, and when people ask what happened, remember it is far easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. You will be considered "quirky", but "deep".

And speaking of that, a small bubble that popped in my mind this afternoon...

12:30 PM, Wednesday January 28th, 2009...
"I am really, really not supposed to be here. I'm done with this place, it's wrong for me."

This is the wrong place for me to be working, although I am not sure if it is now the wrong time. I'm still needed, but it drains me to come here. I yell and get upset and take it out on my beloved, who does not deserve it. I get sick far too often from the stress. I am at times downright miserable and so depressed it becomes hard to breathe. And that it took THIS extent of personal hell for me to formally recognize this just speaks to how much I doubt myself. Too busy being strung along by the thoughts of appearing to be a flake for not staying in any one place for too long, I didn't listen to myself. And now I'm in a position to be stuck here, frustrated, for many moons until the contract is over by this same thinking. I'm just trying to get up the nerve to move along in a bad economy.

Really, I'm only happy when I am writing or creating. I've no idea at all how to parcel that out in to a living, but it needs to happen. I was upset all day until I started this journal entry, then immediately calmed down. I was a bit angsty last night until I picked up and started to knit on Bob's V-tine's Day socks. There is something about the creative process that fills me and closes the circuit so I can feel whole and "circulating". That needs to happen somehow.

It's necessary to keep reminding ones' self that nothing is permanent. The second you start to think things will never change is the second you start ~really~ lying to yourself.
I used to ride a bike along the same stretch of road every day. And every day I thought about how things basically looked the same. Then it occurred to me that was just the overall appearance. Every day something shifted, be it the locations of the leaves in the gutter, the gravel on the sidewalk, the height of the grass. There was no way to know or keep track of it all, and I hurt my head trying to even conceive of it all.
Even better, if enough small changes happen, it results in one BIG change, and it's so subtle it almost doesn't catch your attention. So... if the picture looks too big, take a small bite out of the corner and work from there. It'll happen.

And this giant pep talk now comes to a close. I feel drained but okay.

Winter Wonderlands can't be really appreciated at the moment.

Well, snowmaggedon is here without a lot of fanfare save for some sirens up on the highway about 20 minutes ago... which didn't seem too great.
I brought my work laptop home in the hopes of getting to work on it from here but... god damn Dell and their proprietary power cords, it'll run out of power in 2 hours.
The roads are starting to look mostly clear, in truth, so I'm thinking of packing up and heading in since I can't get on VPN anyway.
It was a nice thought to work from home, but really it just ain't feasible. I need to realize that working where I do, they pretty much own my soul and it's my duty to drag my ass 45 miles down the highway even in really, really bad weather to do my job.
I can't tell you how much I hate having to do that. Especially now that my coworker is gone and I have to fend this stuff off all by my lonesome. *sigh*
I fucking hate snow days that don't work out.
Guess I'm going in. I'm sure it's obvious how happy I am about this.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Oh, those crazy MIT kids...

Wow... it's fantastic that you can now hack road signs to say whatever you want.

But honestly... I pity the passenger in my car when this bad boy pops up.

Because I swear to God if I see that I'm bailing mid-highway and running like hell leaving them to fend for themselves, firmly gripping the baseball bat I keep in the backseat for this very sort of thing. You all laugh, but the Zombie Apocalypse is freakin' imminent.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Actual Conversation #38-or-something - wherein the value of knowing a foreign language is revealed.

(A preface to this... Bob works for a company that is sending it's data to France, hence the need for French translations.)

gru: They do indeed.
Poor QA person just did something....interesting.
We're supposed to be translating our data feed into French.
She just sent a letter to 8 people stating 'It isn't working for all the elements, some of them are in English still, please fix ASAP' Not snotty, but urgent.
The word that wasn't being translated right? 'Accident' Which translates into French as .... 'Accident'
me: LOL
gru: Like 6 of the 8 people sent her back response like 'Um...I think that's right'...and I think the other two are away from their desk.
me: www.fuckinggoogleit.com
:D
gru: chuckles
Now I feel bad I brought it up since everyone else did, but at least it's an amusing story. :-)

Then came the Ghost of the Times to show us many splendid things...

So yesterday was something of a momentous day around here.

I've been watching the tsunami of gemutlichkeit from my place back here and smiling to myself. There is a sense of catharsis in this inauguration that I don't ever recall and no one can honestly say has ever occurred within the realm of recorded media.

It seems that we have been searching for a very long time for something to justify our continued claims that we are the land of the free, the home of the brave, and a place where even the lowliest of us can rise above his conditions to become something great. We have not had reason to even mutter these assertions under our breath given the conditions we find our country in today. But yesterday we saw in the flesh that our deepest ingrained beliefs, our identity as a nation, wasn't just wasted sound and motion.
I imagine the moment must have been nearly crushing. I also imagine that the love the crowd showed, the joy of the nation, kept this at bay. It buoyed the day and our spirits. For the most part. I saw a few trolls working the internet for scraps, desperately screaming about small things like flubbed lines for want of something, anything, to re-sow the seeds of discontent on which they feed and grow.
Fuck them. With a baseball bat. Because yesterday was OUR day. And a man who became a symbol just by being who he was took the oath of office, said what he meant to say, was honest about it, then went inside and got to work.
And I cried a little.

It is still amazing to me the overall appeal this man has for the masses. He is intelligent, but still common. I hadn't really grasped how accessible his image was until we were watching a recap of the inauguration last night. The doorbell wrang, and the man who'd brought us our Chinese food smiled as we bundled it in to the hallway quickly so he didn't have to stand out in the cold. He looked over my shoulder at the screen and his face suddenly lit up. He pointed at it and exclaimed happily "Obama!"
We grimmed. He grinned. Then he tucked away his tip and waved goodbye.
Bob and I laughed over it, but it really struck home with me. It is as if the zeitgeist formed this man from whole cloth, dropped him on our doorstep when we needed him, and we ushered him in to position as fast as we could at the very moment he signalled he was ready. Synchronicity kicked in to overdrive on this.

I think I'll stay back here and watch the crowds and their elation. The man has enough weight with others expectations on it without me trying to add my own (although I already have several, I will admit). I want to see how he does his thing and walks his walk. From what I have observed, now that the pressure of Projecting The Perfect Image is off of him he has relaxed back in to being himself, and he seems to still know what he is doing. It will be fun to watch and see the real man doing the work now, whatever he manages to pull off.

And while I am almost irritated at myself for having such fanciful and fluffy thoughts, it's nice to be able to for the first time in a while and feel that it might be reciprocated by someone out there.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

A happy ending.

Someone moved the fox from the road by the time I got home. There wasn't even any sign of blood, so that means they got to her before someone could run her over and obliterate her corpse.
I don't know why, but this makes me happy. Some kind-hearted samaritan saw the same beauty I did and had the same thought. The fox is gone, but doesn't have to suffer the indignity of being battered on the pavement.
I know if I were in that position, it would've been my hope as well.

We found a new sushi place, Mino, out near the only thai restaurant in the area. It's very good stuff, with the usual offerings of teriyaki and tempura. But they also have yaki soba and udon, along with katsu, and it was all pretty good. We had a tuna roll there and though it was simply, it was really good. We'll have to go there for sushi night one evening and give it a shot.

I'm stuck on the sock. Turning the heel, the part I hear everyone complain about, has struck. They seem to think I understand what "knitting over the hole" means, when there is no obvious hole. I'll have to dig up some videos on YouTube.

The Korean mink blanket proved itself handily by keeping me blazing warm downstairs. Enough so that it caused me to fall asleep for the better part of 3 hours after we got home. It was super fuzzy. A good purchase, all in all.

Bedtime now, methinks. It's almost 5 am. Im' not sure why I'm still coherent.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Awoke to temperature in the teens this morning. Heat was leaking from the pipe sticking out of the top of every little row house around us, little columns of warm, white air against the blue of the morning sky.

It was so beautiful that I stopped to take a look and breathe a moment in it. Withouth the wind I had enough of a warm "bubble" to sustain me for a few long moments. I took the time to look at the sky where the sun was threatening to rise, the birds that flew overhead, the blackness of the branches against the morning blue, and the sky itself... clear and sharp and unbelievable.

On the way to work I saw something I hadn't gotten to see since I first moved back to PA.... a red fox. It was utterly beautiful, but sadly it was also dead in the road, the only reason I got a clear view of it.
I was tempted to pull over and remove the poor thing's body from the road so it didn't get crushed (it was the size of a small housecat) but the press of cars behind me and the lack of a berm, along with being a bit behind getting to work, prompted me to continue on.
But I'm happy. I'm happy that it was struck and killed immediately so it didn't have to suffer the cold or the pain long. Such a beautiful animal. I'm glad to see they're in the area.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Back in the saddle

There is something to be said for returning to the old routine. Something about popping on the work shoes and wandering around in my work regalia that just makes one feel normal and give a small sigh of relief to have a pattern to return to, having been flailing around outside of one whilst sick.
Of course, that was short lived. I returned to wishing for a lucky moment on the Powerball jackpot after about an hour and everyone had stopped telling me how great it was to have me back. Of course, I've a sneaking suspicion that this will occur no matter what workplace I am in, because I am easily distract-able and like to do different things. My life is like a raccoon being distracted from one bit of tinfoil to the next.
There is a restaurant local to us run by real Mexicans that are actually from Mexico and cool the food as they remember it. It is monstrously good, and has introduced to me the single most awesome Mexican culinary creation I have ever encountered. Along with the second, and third Rather Nifty Things.
The Pombaso.
This is bread dipped in red enchilada sauce and grilled, spread with sour cream and refried beans, then topped with the meat of your choice, "Mexican cheese" (which looked like queso fresco to me), then lettuce and tomato. It is a saucy, glumpy, tasty mess and it is impossible to eat one without getting orange sauce on your face and hands. For this reason alone, it rocks.
I'd had one previously and find myself craving it on and off without really knowing why. When I could finally start to take food in again this drifted in to my mind and stayed with alarming ferocity. I begged Bob to bring me one, and being an utter sweetheart he did. But it was something slightly different. It took the edge off, but didn't hit at the heart of the crave. What he did come bearing, though, were Mexican style tacos...that is to say, they have meat, chopped onions, chopped cilantro, and nothing else except the filling you choose. And we got chicken.
It was a reeeeally bad day for chickens at our house on Tuesday, suffice it to say.
But those things, warmed in their palm-sized corn shells, were utterly awesome. When including the green salsa on it, my body reacted the way most men do when lost at see for most of a week and suffering from a lack of water.
But when we went yesterday evening and I finally got my hands on the real deal, the Thing That Makes My Hands Orange, it was joygasmic. I dove in to that and ate with a zest I hadn't been able to muster for many, many days.
We also enjoyed those little tacos again, and some tres leches cake, which was fantastically delicious. But sadly, they did not have the awesomest of all.... la agua de horchada. :(
Agua de Horchada is this rice beverage... like rice milk, but more liquidy. With cinnamon and vanilla. VERY good. And they were totally OUT.
The guy was sweet and apologized, explaining that they could only get small amounts and that there was a big demand for it. But it was the one thing that could've made my return to normal food perfect in that moment. Ah well. Like I told him, we'll be back.
It's nice to return to normal food and a stomach that can digest it. I like getting up for work and doing something for others. This is the only mass of human interaction that I get weekly, and I did actually miss it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

In to every life a little rain must fall.... but that's cause it has to grow the sunflowers.

Been home sick for 2 days puking my guts out. Guess it was worth it not to be at work during all of this, but I will surely miss the money.

The universe is pretty funny. I was depressed over the weekend that no one was looking at and purchasing the things in my shop, and was considering closing the whole thing down.
Someone bought both of the plushies in it yesterday. I still have a bunch of Cthulhus up for sale. I'm thinking perhaps this is not such a good idea, this deleting the store thing. In fact, I'm planning on throwing a bunch more things up on it over the next week, including a scarf I started before Xmas that would be perfect for Valentine's Day.

I am seriously excited. Now I just have to keep my food down and all will be right with the world. I'm sick of being stuck in the house and sick of loosing my food. I've been starving but pretty much unable to do anything about it.

Tomorrow is another day.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Big Brother? Nope, just the twerp in the next cube... I think....

I can't get over the thought that one of my coworkers is somehow checking up on what's on my screen at any one time. There have just been too many instances of him showing up as I'm typing something, or suddenly asking about something a few minutes after I broach the subject over IM with a coworker, or with my bf. Normally I'm a big believer in coincidence, serendipity, synchronicity, whatever you would like to call it... but this was just freaking uncanny. I can't imagine that it's all just happenstance anymore. The fact that my every move might be observed (perhaps screen shotted looking at forums? Reported on?) really bugs me. I worry that it might even affect my behavior tomorrow.
While this is whirling in my head, I am also wondering if I can enlist the help of someone else in catching this individual in the act. But if it turns out that I'm wrong? I don't know.
I think probably I'll broach the subject with someone I'm friendly with tomorrow and try to get it out of my mind.
In the meantime, I have 4 rows of sock completed. And I love what it looks like and how it feels. I can't wait to try and make a pair of these for myself.
it's almost 2 am. I get up at 6. Enough being excited about the trip and twenty million other things. 'Tis bedtim.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Just your average Saturday.

I swear I never meant to become a knitter.
When my Mom first decided to introduce me to it when I was a young lass, I struggled through making a scarf that ended up looking more like a cape for a doll when I finally gave up on it. I picked yarn that was too small and needles that were too small for my short attention span. I then promptly gave up, bought a crochet hook, and set about making myself blankets, scarves, doll pillows, doll blankets, etc, etc.... and spent the next 8 years making variations on crocheted squares without much variation, if I did it at all.
For some reason I decided to try amigurumi. You guys have seen the aftermath. My office is covered in tiny stuffed animals now. Albeit cool ones, to be sure. But when I realized I actually ~did~ know how to read a pattern and could follow it to great effect, it started to crawl in to my mind that the same was probably true of other things, including knitting.
I have 3 balls of sock yarn waiting for me, and some merino and angora fingering weight yarn in light pink to make some knee-high lacy things out of. I have 10 skeins of twisted recycled silk sari yarn waiting for the perfect sweater pattern. I have wool and nylon yarn spun irregularly that I am uttelry convinced would make a bitchin' pullover. And right now I have bamboo yarn being worked in to handwarmers complete with a button hole and ribbing -on bamboo needles, I might add. I love the irony- and some wheat-colored angora mix that was on sale and I had to have with no planned project yet. I was looking in to knitted and crocheted lace for shawls and hand warmers and blankets and scarves and... And, of course, we continue out with my obsession for making plushies with yarn. (since I can't sew)
Seriously, I never meant to be a knitter. I play video games. I wire up home networks som the computers can share files with one another. I wardrive on other peoples' routers. I laugh at Robot Chicken and look forward to Heroes! I write FANFIC for World of Warcraft, for crying out loud! I was NOT aiming to be a knitter.
And yet... here I am staring at five double pointed needles and a ball of yarn in a most beautiful shade of cadet blue and deep violet. DOUBLE POINTED NEEDLES.
I often wondered at the strange tendency of women to horde yarn that they didn't already have plans for. Now I know. At some point you may come across the perfect pattern (or be struck with enormous inspiration) and simply HAVE to pull something out and work with it. Which is why I think I have upwards of something like 45 balls of yarn to my name. I would like to point out, however, that a large number of those are for plushie commissions. And it's funny that I'm feeling defensive over this. I guess in my head I associate knitting behavior with something to be embarassed about...
The final nail in the coffin was when I signed up for and received my invitation to Ravelry.com. It was a 2 day wait because of the popluarity backup. But when I got on I found patterns like the Rogue Hoodie Sweater with a celtic knot detail...and I am sworn to create this thing now. And it has cables.
Damnit.
Mom, if you read this, I'm fairly sure you'll love Ravelry and you should get on the site asap. They also have crochet patterns, if you survived my attempt to show you how to crochet over the Xmas holidays. There's also Fair Isle patterns, and a forum where you can ask questions. In addition, they've got this awesome grid that will let you keep track of what kinds of needles you have so you know to go dig deeper for them instead of spending money and getting more. In addition, it lets you record what project you're working on, how close you are to done, and how difficult it was for you. Even more than that? Lets you record your stash of yarn. So if you come across a pattern you love, and it calls for a certain kind of yarn, you can just flip over and see if you have it in your stash already. If not, you can either grab the yarn they recommend for it, or you can purchase it right there, since they usually have it linked on the website. Terribly, terribly handy.
~addendum, having been interrupted and returning now to finish this entry~
In the meantime, Snopacalypse really didn't happen. We got enough to make the ground white, but not enough to make a difference. I am somewhat disappointed.
In addition, the delivery guy for the treadmill called in "sick", and so it was not delivered. As you can probably tell, I am a bit dubious about his condition. I just find it convenient on a weekend day that's supposed to have bad weather, someone randomly calls off.
The last of my yarn came in, and since I found out I actually really love working on small details, I am looking forward to whipping all of these balls of yarn in to much improved foot-sweaters!
And perhaps the greatest thing my DS has ever managed to do for me, My Weightloss Coach showed up, along with the handy pedometer. It told me my BMI and gave me all kinds of little challenges to do during the day. It basically makes a video game out of weight loss. The more you lose, the more it rewards you. I hate to say it, but I like this method already. I'm sitting here with the pedometer strapped to my waistband now.
My totally awesome fox hat came from Pawstars today! I've been wearing it all afternoon. It is awesome and fuzzy and I look like one of the Lost Boys in it. Peter Pan's Lost Boys, not the vampiric ones in California. ;)
And on that note, I'm kinda tired and want to finish my other bamboo hand warmer before I pass out for the evening. We've booked the tickets and locked our seats together in. Now we just need the hotels, my passport, and the bullet train passes and we'll be set. That feels good.

PS - I actually justified purchasing an awl yesterday because of its possible use in defense against burglers, psychotics, and close range zombie-grappling. I may officially be bonkers. ^_^

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Ravelry.com

I swear I never meant to become a knitter.
When my Mom first decided to introduce me to it when I was a young lass, I struggled through making a scarf that ended up looking more like a cape for a doll when I finally gave up on it. I picked yarn that was too small and needles that were too small for my short attention span. I then promptly gave up, bought a crochet hook, and set about making myself blankets, scarves, doll pillows, doll blankets, etc, etc.... and spent the next 8 years making variations on crocheted squares without much variation, if I did it at all.
For some reason I decided to try amigurumi. You guys have seen the aftermath. My office is covered in tiny stuffed animals now. Albeit cool ones, to be sure. But when I realized I actually ~did~ know how to read a pattern and could follow it to great effect, it started to crawl in to my mind that the same was probably true of other things, including knitting.
I have 3 balls of sock yarn waiting for me, and some merino and angora fingering weight yarn in light pink to make some knee-high lacy things out of. I have 10 skeins of twisted recycled silk sari yarn waiting for the perfect sweater pattern. I have wool and nylon yarn spun irregularly that I am uttelry convinced would make a bitchin' pullover. And right now I have bamboo yarn being worked in to handwarmers complete with a button hole and ribbing -on bamboo needles, I might add. I love the irony- and some wheat-colored angora mix that was on sale and I had to have with no planned project yet. I was looking in to knitted and crocheted lace for shawls and hand warmers and blankets and scarves and... And, of course, we continue out with my obsession for making plushies with yarn. (since I can't sew)
Seriously, I never meant to be a knitter. I play video games. I wire up home networks som the computers can share files with one another. I wardrive on other peoples' routers. I laugh at Robot Chicken and look forward to Heroes! I write FANFIC for World of Warcraft, for crying out loud! I was NOT aiming to be a knitter.
And yet... here I am staring at five double pointed needles and a ball of yarn in a most beautiful shade of cadet blue and deep violet. DOUBLE POINTED NEEDLES.
I often wondered at the strange tendency of women to horde yarn that they didn't already have plans for. Now I know. At some point you may come across the perfect pattern (or be struck with enormous inspiration) and simply HAVE to pull something out and work with it. Which is why I think I have upwards of something like 45 balls of yarn to my name. I would like to point out, however, that a large number of those are for plushie commissions. And it's funny that I'm feeling defensive over this. I guess in my head I associate knitting behavior with something to be embarassed about...
The final nail in the coffin was when I signed up for and received my invitation to Ravelry.com. It was a 2 day wait because of the popluarity backup. But when I got on I found patterns like the Rogue Hoodie Sweater with a celtic knot detail...and I am sworn to create this thing now. And it has cables.
Damnit.
Mom, if you read this, I'm fairly sure you'll love Ravelry and you should get on the site asap. They also have crochet patterns, if you survived my attempt to show you how to crochet over the Xmas holidays. There's also Fair Isle patterns, and a forum where you can ask questions. In addition, they've got this awesome grid that will let you keep track of what kinds of needles you have so you know to go dig deeper for them instead of spending money and getting more. In addition, it lets you record what project you're working on, how close you are to done, and how difficult it was for you. Even more than that? Lets you record your stash of yarn. So if you come across a pattern you love, and it calls for a certain kind of yarn, you can just flip over and see if you have it in your stash already. If not, you can either grab the yarn they recommend for it, or check out what type you'll need in terms of weight. It lets you see the retailer, the variations of it, and go to the website directly to buy it. It'll also show you people that are willing to sell or trade.
In short it's a fabulous site, and horrible for anybody who was hoping for a tiny bit of incovenience to talk them out of becoming a fibercraft-whore. I know I'm seriously doomed at this point. There's no less than 8 projects on the needles right now.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Actual Conversation #37 - Wherein the trip to Japan is mulled over with friends.

me: I'm going to be irritating at least once a week about this until the trip. Fair warning.
talula: hahaha okay
me: Oh! Did you want me to bring anything back for you?
Within reason. I can't do samurai swords and such.
(Well...I could... but hiding that would really, really hurt)
talula: buddha!
me: I can't bring him to you. Buddha is within.
What else?
:D
talula: :P
me: Hey, that was damned clever.
talula: bring me used panties from a vending machine.
j/k

HORRORFEST III WEEKEND!

Holy flying mammals, Batman! What to my wondering eyes should appear, but an awesome email to bring good cheer!
It is time for Horrorfest III!! In fact, it starts today!
To temper the awesomeness of this, though, is the fact that our usual spots for viewing in Wilmington and Cherry Hill are not on the list of theaters like usual. And that, frankly, sucks. I've got certain films I really want to see and it now appears they're only playing tonight. :( Sad panda!
But on the plus side, this DOES mean that I will once again have the opportunity to share my love of the horror genre with my beloved and a bunch of random strangers who will laugh along with me at the sight of really, really shitty special FX.
For those of you that are curious about the Horrorfest, A Big Load Of Awesome awaits.
In other news, we ended up creating a bank account just for traveling, since apparently the savings account just for traveling only holds money and occasionally burps a little interest-money in to the thing. (I would like to note that we finally just managed to put 5 figures in to that thing and we STILL ONLY GET $5 INTEREST EACH MONTH. WTF??) We're going to be officially buying the plane tickets tonight since we had to wait to get the checking active. After we've done that and set it in stone, we'll be deciding on what days we'll be where. Then comes choosing the hotels.
I gotta admit, for all of these details we're having to handle, it's not as hard or as confusing as it seemed to be. Or maybe it's the year we've taken to educate ourselves that has helped.
Either way, in 5 short months we will be eating pre-packaged sushi from 7Eleven in downtown Tokyo. Hopefully this conveys how excited I am to be going.
(Mental note to ask what people want me to pick up for them while I'm there!)
This weekend we are apparently expected to have a metric butt tonne of snow, as announced by the national weather service. A metric butt tonne, as some of you may be familiar with, is anywhere from 4 inches to 5 feet. Anything above 5 feet is considered OMFG amounts. So... tomorrow supposedly I finally get the snow I've been waiting for all year. And it will STICK. :)
Tomorrow is also supposedly when our new treadmill will arrive, for which I am heartily grateful. The treadmill was my #1 ally in the gym and the one that I suffer the absence of greatly. Having it downstairs where I can watch TV or read while walking will be great. No freezing of parts off or sunburning and blistering of exposed things, either. And if I need to read for school, I can walk and do that at the same time, so it's a win-win. I'm quite excited for it to arrive.
With the snow, the arrival of all of my yarn, the acquisition of needles, and the promised coziness of the weekend, I'm looking forward to doing some walking, some knitting of Valentine's Day socks, and some serious coding!
I still fear sock patterns.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Whirlwind of things going down

Date night, we are heading to Nectar thanks to a coupon that Bob's folks gave us to use when we had lunch/dinner with them on New Year's Day. I look forward to my infrequent sampling of the foie gras with just a bit of hyper wiggling anticipation. Just a bit.
Tonight is also the night we go to the bank and officially tell them to attach the Travel Savings account to a credit card. And then... we go home and book our tickets on All Nippon Airways, landing in Narita Tokyo on May 16th. (The tricky part having been that we took off on May 15th!)
We will then also proceed to make reservations and the Keio Plaza Hotel in Shinjuku, Tokyo, a ryokan in Kyoto, and a nice small place in the heart of downtown after we're done with an evening of relaxing.
It is really hard to believe that we've been saving over a year for this, and that we've achieved the goal already! Anything past this will cover the rapidly tanking dollar vs. yen issue. it will help cover food and transportation as well, and possibly also some souvenirs. It's just amazing that we've got it done and still have 5 more months to save more. This is going to be a fantastic trip.
I don't know what I'm looking forward to most; perhaps being completely immersed in Japanese culture instead of the filtered fleeting glimpses we get through an Americanized viewscope over here? The feeling of being in a completely foreign place and navigating it with intelligence? Sitting down in front of a TV or a movie screen and being able to follow the common themes that belong to all human beings even though we'll only vaguely understand the details of the story we're watching? Experiencing a culture much older and more profound than the one I was born in to? All of these are very present in my mind.
Oh, such plans we have... such plans!
This is day 4 of "no coffee for Helen" trial #8. I am hoping by preparing myself very strong black and jasmine teas that I will get around the need for the caffeine. Day 4 tends to be about where I crumble. And I'll be honest, I can feel the brain doing the prune-job it always does on Day 4 when there isn't enough caffeine in the world to help power it along. I shall persevere, however. I'd really like to say that I can operate without the stuff in case of something like a nuclear war that obliterates all of the coffea arabica plants but somehow leaves the camellia sinensis........?
Just go with it and smile. The arabica plants are grown in more tumultuous areas than the sinensis are...there is logic to that statement, I swear it.
I got my hands on some sock yarn and I am quite seriously contemplating learning how to make socks. I'm told by many voiceless sources on the interwebs that by doing so I open my life up to a world of luxury and decadence the likes of which normal men do not get to experience. AFter all, how many people get to wear hand made socks??! I am also told that because it is such a small project that one can by smaller balls of yarn and still complete it, allowing one to make their socks from such formerly formidable things as yak down, cashmere, silk and angora. I am currently staring down two hanks of yarn, one self striped with black and purple that is made of merino wool, silk and nylon. The other is merino wool and acrylic with just a touch of bamboo. I've been too scared to touch either one of them for fear that the failure at the sock project would sound off a klaxon in my merely coming in contact with the fibers. It would be SO imminent that the gods would just be waiting for me to step up to it to warn me of how horrid it would be. Then they would provide me with a book on fancy macrame to try instead, so I could just wrap my feet in strings instead.
I made the mistake of not immediately converting one of the hanks in to a ball and was treated to 2 hours of unknotting and winding after Chaucer got a hold if it while we were in the midst of a power outage and scrambling for candles.
As an aside, it's VERY soft and I can't wait to see how it feels.
I got my "korean mink" blanket last night finally. It is incredibly warm and very, very soft. I would get one again if we needed it (but in person because I got gyped on shipping.) and I think it would probably be excellent for keeping us warm while campking. As it is, I got it to cover myself while meditating in the 3rd bedroom.
Also have some lovely new things from Victoria's Secret that I must say I am highly pleased with.
There were other things I was going to go on about, but with the lack of caffeine I find my brain has given up for now. So we'll call this good.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Good morning, Otherworld!

This morning's rare treat was a world coated in cold crystal. Despite the expectation of ice and dangerous driving, the roads were wet and salted and allowed for a leisurely drive amongst the other scared motorists waiting for it to magically freeze over as they drove. The slow speeds made for more time to look at how the rain had frozen in a little crystal veil on every exposed structure. It even hung from the power lines like a string of beads on a chandelier.
I don't know what it is about this kind of weather, but I love it. There is just something about the entire world being hushed under a layer of ice that seems faerie-like. I took a long moment to observe it from the bedroom window this morning in the pre-dawn gloaming. It felt other out there, and I liked it.

We watched the last of Lost, season 4 yesterday night, and are now duly caught up with the rest of the world in waiting for season 5. I find that I like the series, but am very irritated that I am so in to it now that I had a serious fear they would hurt the island and the people on it. I had images of a fire storm occurring on the island wiping out every living thing and it made me genuinely sad. It also made me sad that the 6 left. Yes, they were getting back to civilization, but if I had a choice between sitting here at a desk typing this or being out on an island where the weather is warm and the food is easy to come by, not to mention a tendency to not get sick and the possibility of seeing a few miracles... yeah, I'd do the latter.
Bob and I have been floating conspiracy theories all morning now that we can freely go look information up without hitting spoilers. My personal theory is that the island didn't move in distance or space, but in time. It was already revealed to be out of sync with things a bit, so why not throw it just a little ~more~ out of phase, making it even harder to find it unless you were already attuned somehow?

I haven't wanted to wrap my head around a TV show like this in a while. It has me a little giddy.

Got some yarn for making the socks today. Need double-pointed-needles to pull it off, so I'll go get those this week/end at some point. I've decided my gift to Bob for this Valentine's Day shall be a pair of comfy socks. We'll see if it works.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Actual Conversation #36-ish - Wherein Life imitates Cinema.

me: holy crap...you're there early.
That worried about getting things done? :(
Robert: Yeah, I wanted to get in.
Today is going to suck.
me: Okay baby. Love you.
Robert: Love you too. Everyone on the road was a jerk to me, I feel either like I'm coming down with something or I'm hung over I can't tell which, and I hate what I'm doing and can't make it work. Other than that I'm great. :-)
me: People were jerks to me, too.
But you know what happened?
Robert: What's t hat?
me: This morning I had a bazooka with me, and they alllll went awaaaaay. ^_^
Robert: Cool.
me: Actually, I was being irritated in the parking lot, trying to breathe, when I saw this white PT Cruiser pull in the parking lot.
I looked around after I looked down to check something and it completely disappeared.
So I thought "Huh, that's weird".
Got out of my car.
And a white PT Cruiser pulled in the parking lot.
At this point I"m thinking "Oh shit, it's a Matrix hiccup.... Agent Smith is going to show up any second..."
Nope. Just turns out the first cruiser pulled in between two SUVs so I couldn't see it.
The second cruiser pulled in right next to it.
So the universe went to great lengths on that joke and resolution
Robert: Thats pretty funny :-)
me: Isn't it? :D
any time you feel stressed, just smile and think "God mind-fucked my girlfriend this morning and it was pretty funny". Then you'll laugh and some of the stress will disappear!

(As an aside, I talked with one of the guys who got out of the car, who told me that both were rentals and both came from two separate rental dealerships. Now THAT is an awesome coincidence.)