Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Actual Conversation # 21 - Surprise Cake! Recipe

Robert: You got a second for a funny?
me: Please.
Robert: " You know date rape drugs?
Right, rhyphonol is one of these. It knocks you asleep after an hour or two.
I should also mention, a side affect of rhyphonol is amnesia of events whilst under influence of the drug.
Now, a friend of mine had this idea:
1) Prepare ingredients
2) Take rhyphonol
3) Bake cake
4) Fall asleep
5) ??????
6) Wake up
7) CAKE?! CAKE! Where did this come from?!
me: whimpers I needs a hoomer
Oh geez......
Bad....bad joke. laughing
Robert: I think it'd be awesome! Surprise cake!!!
me: Totally!
Robert: It's the gift that keeps on giving!
me: Indeed.
Do you know the comedy bit this is based on?
Robert: I've heard it before, but not the details.
I should totally set you up for surprise cake.
Robert: Ahhhh
me: That's not a euphemism.
I was thinking I want to surprise you with baked goods.
Which is also not a euphemism.
Robert: Okay, I can't keep track of waht is and isn't I'll just settle or either. :-)
me: I love that you're so easy to please.
I'll show up naked with black forest cake
Robert: My brain would explode from the awesomeness, but the rest of me is good to go!


I just have no energy anymore. I will start out a week ready to go, ready to complete all kinds of stuff and excited about what I can get done. Then Tuesday rolls around and I am dealing with a second day of people going back on what they told me 5 minutes ago because something happened that made them look like an ass. And I will bear the brunt of the "well, you should have known to do X instead..."
Should i have? Really? When there was no training and there's no knowledge base to this job? I think I'm doing pretty damned well given I had only one week with the original desktop lead.
I fight sleep getting here in the mornings. I fight sleep driving home. And when I'm here it's a parade of shit people want done immediately without realizing in the big scheme of things that the server that's out in China ranks above the fact they can't print something out in color.
I'm so tired I'm making mistakes I haven't made since I first started this job, and that's beginning to upset me. I pride myself on doing a thorough job, but when you can't even THINK to focus a becomes difficult to do the job well. And it's also been noticable. The boss will stop by and say "Just in a rush and a little overwhelmed?" Yup. Pretty much every time.
I'm so tired of being tired. I'm tired of hurting, too. That's begun to creep up on me since I started this job. The weekend will be renewing and fun and I'll be rested well....and then I show up on a Monday and it eats my reserves in all of 2 hours. I spend the rest of the work frustrated, stressed, sleepy and forgetful. When I get home all I want to do is throw food down my throat and go to sleep. Nevermind school. Nevermind writing or painting or sketching. I just want sleep.
This really isn't a way to live. I've tried adjusting my schedule in order to work better with everything and discovered it was pretty much pointless. I still have to get up too early. I still come home late.
I've hit this sort of mellow stage where I am SO tired that nothing that comes across my field of view really affects me. If a gunman shows up, I'm completely doomed. But for this brief moment I'm beyond wanting to go in the bathroom and hide just so I can get a break from the incessant work.
They gave me a raise recently, ( a whole dollar, better than can be said for anywhere else I've worked before) so I know they want to keep me around. But I just get SO beat up here... I don't know if I can keep taking it energetically, emotionally, mentally... *sigh* It's like trying to decide if you like someone enough to adjust your personality for them. I need to pay the bills. Do I adjust myself for this job and just keep screwing up and being sleepy? Or do I go elsewhere for a possibly worse position that will leave me wanting to come back here?
I dunno. I just know I want a nap more than I want a paycheck and I can't recall the last time that was true.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Actual Conversation #20 - Serenaded by a Coworker using the theme from Portal

2:04:18 PM Ben: yaaaaaaaaaaawn
2:04:22 PM: Ben: busy but boring
2:04:26 PM: Ben: nothing remotely interesting happening
2:04:37 PM: Helen: Give thanks.
2:04:41 PM: Helen: srsly
2:04:59 PM: Ben: what is worse than being busy with boring menial shit?
2:05:10 PM: Ben: having nothing to do at all?
2:06:54 PM: Helen: Oh no....
2:07:06 PM: Helen: No, the worst is not being ALLOWED to do anything at all.
2:07:16 PM: Helen: Because if nothings going on I can read the internet or draw or something.
2:07:16 PM: Ben: tru.dat
2:07:28 PM: Helen: But if that's all locked down or whatever... stiiiiiircraaaaaazeeeeee
2:07:45 PM: Ben: i pulled something in my left upper leg
2:07:49 PM: Ben: it hurts like a biiiiitch
2:08:25 PM: Ben: and tore me to pieces
2:08:26 PM: Helen: Inside or outside?
2:08:28 PM: Ben: and threw every piece into a fire
2:08:33 PM: Ben: as they burned it hurt because
2:08:35 PM: Ben: i was so happy for you
2:08:41 PM: Ben: now these points of data make a beautiful line
2:08:42 PM: Helen: w
2:08:42 PM: Helen: t
2:08:43 PM: Helen: f
2:08:47 PM: Ben: and we're out of data we're releasing in time
2:08:51 PM: Helen: *laughing*
2:08:56 PM: Helen: God damn, you ARE bored.
2:08:59 PM: Ben: so i'm glad i got burned think of all the things we learned
2:09:05 PM: Ben: for the people that are still aliiiiiiive
2:09:09 PM: Helen: ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!
2:09:18 PM: Helen: You'll be dead and I'll be...still alliiiiiiiiiiiive...
2:09:23 PM: Ben: go head and leave me
2:09:50 PM: Ben: i think i prefer to stay inside
2:09:57 PM: Ben: maybe youll find someone else to help you
2:09:59 PM: Ben: maybe black mesa
2:10:02 PM: Ben: that was a joke
2:10:03 PM: Ben: HA HA
2:10:04 PM: Ben: fat chance
2:10:11 PM: Ben: anyway this cake is great
2:10:15 PM: Ben: its so delicious and moist
2:10:21 PM: Ben: look at me still talking when theres science to do
2:10:37 PM: Ben: when i look up there it makes me glad im not you
2:10:54 PM: Ben: ive experiments to run
2:10:57 PM: Ben: there is research to be done
2:11:02 PM: Ben: on the people who are still ALIIIIIIIIVE
2:11:06 PM: Ben: and believe me i am still alive
2:11:18 PM: Ben: im doing science and im still alive
2:11:23 PM: Ben: i feel fantastic and im still alive
2:11:30 PM: Ben: while youre dying all be still alive
2:11:34 PM: Ben: and when you're dead ill be still alive
2:11:37 PM: Ben: still alive
2:11:39 PM: Ben: still alive!
2:11:47 PM: Helen: I'm blogging that entire thing.

(Ben proceeded 10 minutes later to tell me the story about the engineer from India who would not trade his phone extension -x1337- with Ben even after Ben showed him the wikipedia article to educate him. He was really irritated, because the engineer didn't understand the significance of his awesome extension. Ben can be fun.)

Actual Conversation #19 - where Business Slang is dissected.

me: I have a new word to hate.
Robert: Which is?
me: "actioning"
What the fuck.
Robert: Ew, yeah really
me: They use it everywhere right now.
If anybody ever uses that in my presence, I'm going to make them use an actual verb.
Robert: My favorite is our new one I just heard. After the test we're having a 'Hot Washup' which I guess is the recap or post mortem. It sounds like a damned Gay porno.
me: Um...yeah.
Look, don't bend over in there, okay?
Robert: I know, right
me: I will give you $20 to mention that it sounds like that, and you would prefer we use "post mortem" because necrophilia is so outside the realm of acceptability no one would even ponder that in sexual terms.
Robert: Um no, then I will be fired :-)
me: For that?
Is that all it takes?
Robert: Might be :-)
me: Then I will have to try that some time.
Robert: heh

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tempest Fugit.

I was awoken at 3 AM by a crash of thunder that knocked the power out in our house, and then turned a light ON in the surge. I heard the rumblings and grumblings and opened my sleeping eyes just long enough to look outside to a world suddenly revealed in startling blue and white. It froze in that second as if it were caught off guard. Then everything was plunged in to blackness. All around me the sounds of electrical devices clicking at the loss of power rose up. Then a brief moment later, in the midst of the rolling thunder, the power came back on and the resulting surge turned the touch-lamp out in the hallway on. It was so funny I laughed and woke Bob up. Or helped finish him waking up, as the thunder was loud and had probably done a good job of starting it for me.
After turning the lights off and resetting the clock, we snuggled back in to bed and watched the blaze of electric blue, as it caught the tossed branches and raindrops outside mid-action. It was glorious, and I can honestly say I'd never had an experience like that. I love thunderstorms, but being able to see one in such drastic contrast because of the complete dark of night was a fantastic treat.
I was enjoying it so much, I almost couldn't go to sleep. But reminds of what sleepless nights lead to during busy days forced me to put my head down and curl the thunder around me while I went back to bed. I'm hoping it continues to storm tonight where I can watch it and appreciate it better.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

To the Individual I Accidentally Txt-ed Yesterday...

...I'm sorry. I was in the car trying to send the name of a novelist I heard on the radio to myself while driving in rush hour traffic. But to you who were one digit from my own phone number... it's a good book. Go pick it up and enjoy it!

I promise that'll be my last communique.

A few timely things to Squee about!

Well, I love my DS. I have probably spent over 20 hours on that thing since it was purchased and I declare that to be a worthwhile investment.
As of right now I have a cute little game called My French Coach which is teaching me slowly how to speak like I've made it through the school system to 3rd grade in France. I enjoy it, because there's games like word searches and whack-a-mole verb forms that keep it from being more than just rote memorization. Also, there's just something fun about being awarded points for saying "ajourd'hui".'s this for timely. Since that and My Spanish Coach have apparently been so successful, there is now My Japanese Coach for the DS. It also has an added section to teach you how to read and write in Katakana, Hiragana and Kanji. Considering all of the games I had encountered up until now were written in Japanese to try and teach English (and ergo needed to be reverse-engineered in my brain, a time-consuming process at its least efficient) this has me very, very excited.

Another thing I have always wanted to do is learn Chinese. It makes sense. I love kung fu movies, I love Chinese food. And more people speak it than any other language out there, so why on earth would I not want to learn it? So I was rather cheerful to realize that there will also be My Chinese Coach out on the market as well.

Now all they need to create are My Italian Coach and My Gaelic Coach and I will be a vury, vury happi grrl. Can you tell that I like languages? A lot?

NEWAI....say it with me, because this is a Happy Thing.... SQUEEEEE!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


After talking with my mom last night I realized that while Bob and I are very different in certain areas, really I had only stopped to acknowledge that it was different and did not ponder why that might be or what it was borne out of. And while I could probably go the rest of my life without knowing for sure that there's something going on like a hatred of hamsters stemming from an incident in kindergarten with the class pet, there's something in me that thinks it couldn't hurt to know exactly what makes him tick the way he does.
Having decided this, I opted to go through and re-subject myself to the Myers-Briggs, which I have had to take no less than 5 times previously, for various classes in college and high school, and once as a part of a workshop for a job I was in to discuss strengths in the workplace. All very cheesy.
Lo and behold...I am Queen Consistant. While there is a possibility to swing from one extreme to another (I have seen it done in the past decade by at least 2 different friends) that I will be within the realm of the INFP. Intuitive Feeling Perceiving...something else. I dunno.
It's nice to see consistency in SOMETHING in one's life. You are who you are, I guess. And really brains just pull in information in different ways, independent of upbringing.
Bob, by the way, turned out to be an INTJ.

Monday, July 14, 2008

A quick tutorial on the importance of proper ascii art.

I, like many individuals, spend a great deal of time communicating via instant messaging and using various small bits of ascii art to convey our emotions along with some of the worst butcherings of the English language in the form of lawlcat, l33tsp33k, and overly used txtspeek. Not to mention your good acronyms.
That anybody actually understand anything flying across their screen when not presented in the Queen's English is amazing. That people get confused when you DO use the Queen's English is amusing.
So I was in the midst of flooding the internet with proclamations of my adoration for my man, and attempted to emphasize this with a bit of ascii art. Like so:
But this is what ensued:

So...instead of having a happy face surrounded by love, I made a picture of someone thrilled to have a waffle cone stuck on the side of their head.
When Bob saw that, his response was only to say "It looks like you've got a lot going on there. I should probably leave you alone."
Yeah. Waffle cones to the head. It's love.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Actual Conversation #18 - wherein our hero-ine encounters work place creepiness.

me: So guess who started randomly messaging me again after I talked with his cohort in Exton the other day?
Robert: Your first stalker guy?
me: Aye. sigh
So I said "What did you need for me to do?"
Robert: Work stuff or creepy stuff?
me: Just "Hi Helen"
Like "Hi Dave. I can't allow you to do that, Dave"
That kinda thing.
Robert: Yup
me: So when I asked him what I could do, he said "Just saying hi."
"Okay. Later."
Robert: Okies
me: What I should have said is "Oh, okay. Well, if you need anything give me a moment because my super vibrant and brilliant and handsome boyfriend is on the line and I need to chat with him for a long moment."
Robert: *laughs*
Why didn't that occur to me at the time??

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Area 53 - #4

I've had this for well over a week now and forgot about it shoved in the scanner. My bad! Here it is. As always, clicky for large view.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

The Spore Creature Creator at Work.

I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of Spore on the shelves for many moons now. We got our hands on the Creature Creator this weekend. I've made 3 so far. This is my laughable attempt at making something "vicious" Instead, it turned out entirely adorable.
There's a feature where you can have it interact with a baby of it's kind. Here's what ensued. Diabetics beware, it's too cute.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Actual Conversation # 17 - wherein the wonders of the GPS are grudgingly acknowledged.

Helen:My boyfriend was dying to take the GPS for a test drive this weekend, so on Saturday we saddled up and hooked it up and just went driving. Which was pretty cool.
2:22:20 PM: Helen: it found a beautiful county park 10 mintues away with a HUGE lake we never even knew was there.
2:22:31 PM: Helen: But then we got hungry, and told it to find us some Mexican. And it did.
2:22:37 PM: Helen: In the basement of a building in Reading.
2:22:44 PM: Helen : It was awesome.
2:22:49 PM: Robert: hehe
2:23:06 PM: Helen: I always sit there and bitch about relying on technology too much, but we never would've found that without the GPS>
2:23:23 PM: Robert: see that. it has its good points
2:23:28 PM: Helen: Oh definitely.
2:23:36 PM: Helen: I just think iPods are still totally overrated.

How the hell did Vampires move so fast?

Anemia sucks. Especially when you've got it so bad you can barely bring yourself to stand up to go GET the iron you need so you can move around.

I think I may be doomed to an existance that must be spiked with multi-vitamins.

I hate medication. *sigh*

Thursday, July 3, 2008

May The Schwartz Be With You!

I am officially cheesing over DS Styluses shaped like light sabers.

You could totally play your Lego Star Wars Game with a Jedi light saber! And what's even better is they light up!
The geek in me who loves her DS and also things Star Wars is pretty damned cool is just rolling around in the idea of this thing existing with a fair amount of glee.

Yes. Really. Actual Conversation # 16.

me: OH!
Get this.
I walk in to the break room and for some r#@%*^& reason Fox News is on TV like always.
And they're discussing Guitar Hero.
And while I am getting my water, the commentators have come to the decision that it has nothing to do with playing a real guitar, it's just button mashing. And therefore it requires utterly no skill to play the game.
And then one genius pops in with "you're just banging around on it like a monkey".
I was ready to give some modicum of respect to them prior to this, as it takes a lot to deliver the news with moral outrage and Christian values.
Robert: Huh, I'm sure they're experts at it also
me: But FUCK THEM.
Robert: Lol, really
me: I would hand them a a real guitar and a Guitar Hero guitar and just wait for them to actually accomplish anything approaching success with either one. And it would be a while.
Seriously....utterly...completely...fuck Fox News.
Robert: I heard that.
me: Shall we burn them in effigy while we're setting off fireworks?
Robert: Oh yes, I guess we need fireworks too!
me: ...I know a place...
Robert: Oh really...with a guy?
me: Yeah. And a Van.
Robert: Ooooo
Sent at 9:06 AM on Thursday

Sometimes I Wonder, Too.

Ticket complaint received this morning.
This blocked link, which you describe as "Adult/Sexually Explicit" Is a link from the boiler professional site XXXXHeatingQhelpYYY.comm from this discussion topic:

It is supposed to be a video of a collapsing tanker. Boilers use pressure tanks and other pressure vessels, so this is an ENTIRELY appropriate work related site for me to access! I am baffled as to why an imploding tank would be considered sexually explicit...

Please unblock this link and email me when it is accessable.

It's an image of a cylinder letting off steam. Maybe they think it's too Freudian? I've seen less suggestive things shown in hardcore porn before.
Of course, having said that, you all now know I've seen a bit of hardcore porn. Perhaps I should blush.
But...seriously...a worklink for an exploding tank. I think it's time to redo our firewall and security settings. That's just pointless. And then maybe I can get access to YouTube.