Sunday, February 28, 2010

And we're off...

I bought sneakers today. I’m charging my mp3 player and switching the music around in it. I’ve found podcasts to listen to that’ll help with the rhythm of the plan. Tomorrow I’m hitting the pavement to see what sort of pain and pride I can bring to this whole endeavor.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m terrified of what damage I’ll do and how much pain I’ll be in on Tuesday morning. I’m also very, very, very excited to try and get back to the place when I was a wee lass and used to love to just run everywhere.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Making magic for others...

I have the perfect bottle for this… a lovely blue glass bottle, an ancient turquoise color that looks like it belongs on the walls of an alchemist’s shop, or in the back of a hedge witch’s cupboard. The cork is a bit crazy, and it’ll absolutely have to be sealed with a ton of wax. But I’m looking forward to putting it together. This’ll have to wait until we’re out near the Atlantic Ocean so I can drop it in somewhere and watch it float away, off to find its adventure.

I think I might include a small something in it, a treasure perhaps, as a reward for picking it up and finding it. Maybe a wheat penny?

I’m also writing the note on pH neutral paper with pH neutral, waterproof ink. That way if the cork gives way but the bottle gets washed ashore, the note will still be legible after the fact.

I’m further pondering trying to start a “chain bottle” with it, asking them to reseal it with their own note and send it back out. Perhaps it’s too much work, perhaps it’ll never even be discovered. But I like the thought of reaching out to someone. A total stranger might find this, and I want more than anything for it to be a completely wonderful and serendipitous moment in their life.

edit – I’ve decided to start this tonight. I’ve collected the paper and the bottle. A quick test shows that no wheat pennies will fit down the narrow neck of the bottle. my best bet is to include something very narrow, or perhaps some tiny crystals to make it a “treasure”. We shall see how it goes!

I'm a seated spud.

I’ve always wanted to be one of those people that could have fun listening to music and biking or running. I’m also horridly overweight and looking for soemthing a bit more tough than Bollywood Bounce dance routines!

Going shopping for shoes tomorrow, and starting Monday the husband and I are going to give it a shot. I miss our walks we used to do together. We won’t really be able to talk, but it could be nice. And I need new walking shoes anyway!

I realized when I was thinking about doing the Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure and it was 20 miles for 3 days (as in SIXTY MILES TOTAL), not only did I NOT have the strength in me to handle it, I didn’t know enough people dead of breast cancer to hurt my joints that way. It would’ve been agony after the first 10 miles. I had no idea how to fix this, either, until I came across the couch-to-5k plan. Now I’m thinking i’m one step closer to not dying of heart disease or diabetes.

The time is nigh!

My new desktop computer is being shipped as I type, which means that in the VERY near future I’ll be able to hook it up to my wacom pad and start drawing again! I’m SO excited!

I revisited the archive a day or two ago and realized just how crappy some of the drawing was. I’m going to really work on it this time, make sure I have proportions and everything correct. I’ve got books to study and anatomy to sketch out… eventually I think I might become halfway decent at this. The thought excites me.

I’m also pondering redrawing the whole thing because it WAS so dodgy in quality. That way people can read what was going on. Maybe as a side project. :)

I've been working on these socks since I started them on a camping trip bsck in August. 5 minutes ago I sewed the last stitch in the toe up. I feel damned accomplished in this moment. Now on to the next project that languishes in my knitting queue!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things...

I find myself at an unusual crossroads currently, and today the universe presented me with the journal entry of a fellow artist who hit the nail on the head regarding being surrounded by negative people.
I have found over the past several weeks that a great many of the people I talk to are very negative. When I am done talking with them I feel as if I've been physically kicked around. My body is sore, I'm exhausted and a great many times I have a headache. I think it's my body's way of telling me what being in such an environment constantly is doing to me in a lovely psychosomatic fashion. It reminds me of when I used to come home from my last place of unemployment and just be exhausted. I would sleep 2 hours, then get up, have dinner, do homework, then go back to bed. It was from dealing with everyone's solid negativity, and when I left that place it felt very freeing. I got a LOT of my energy back.
I find it slipping away from me again, and I have discovered that a lot of times it happens after I've talked with someone who has been complaining. It isn't that simple, though. Because we all complain. Like a sledgehammer, a lot of people in my life keep complaining about every aspect of their life, banging on the same things over and over without moving to fix them. I'm done listening to it. It's become obvious that it's not a priority for them in their own lives since they do nothing but bitch. In which case, it isn't a priority in MY life either, and I am not beholden to listen to it. This is my decision.
I'm making a change this day and in this hour to get rid of the negativity in my life. I have too many things I need to get done, too many plans, to allow my energy to be sucked away by people who continue to hammer on the negativity day in and day out.
Last night I couldn't sleep, so I wandered in to our catch-all room upstairs and sat on the zafu. I managed about 5 minutes where I was just focusing on my breath and my body. I noted when I got up this morning I had a FAR better attitude and a lot more energy. I also know from sitting on the zafu that there's a lot more work to be done in focusing on the breath and clearing the crap out of my body that hurts when I sit. That's all damage that I've allowed to happen from putting myself in situations where it's the only energy I experience. With my shiny new 5 year plan, I'm adding in there that I'm going to start making more positive associations in the future. It's time I started being kind to myself.

In other news, it would appear my house is haunted. It's a smoky grey thing with impeccable loafers, and I suspect it's the "professor" I saw briefly one night leaning around a corner to watch my husband pay the delivery guy for food. He seems to have taken a shine to Daisy, because thus far I've seen him every time I've seen Daisy (or a few seconds after Daisy has passed.) nearby. Although once that was when I was in the bathroom taking a shower, so WOW do I need to talk with it about boundary issues.
It's a bit creepy because it's the first time I've actually ~seen~ a ghost with my own two eyes. I guess it's no worse than hearing something about the weight of a man walk across the upstairs bedroom (which has occurred a few times since we've been in this place) but I guess it's less easy to talk yourself out of seeing something.

it's snowing like crazy out there and has been for about 18 hours now. It only just began to stick in the past 2 hours, so it was a lot of wasted energy honestly. It's been lovely, and I enjoyed walking out in it with the puppy. Nice to see there'll be some ROI for all of this stuff Mother Nature is tossing out there.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Actual Conversation #87 - the appropriate choice of words for a social setting

"It's so important that you have to drop the F-bomb in the middle of Red Robin on Kid's Night? It's that serious?"

~Bob, in response to my adamant assertion that I did not give a...damn...and was going to proceed to do something.

Friday, February 19, 2010

How to have high tea with my Mom.

"A lovely afternoon of finger sandwiches and warm cups."

How I did it: My Mom and I have had tea before, so there was no need to convince anyone of the need to go!
I did a Google search for tea houses near her (since there is nothing near me here!) and discovered there were 3 nearby without going in to New York City. We picked a day we would both be free and that our choice of locale would be open, and then called and made a reservation! We then got hats and headed over, ordering exactly what we wanted and took our sweet time enjoying it. It was a lovely afternoon. If I lived closer, I would definitely go do it again, and frequently.

Lessons & tips: ~make sure that when you go you can give it at least an hour of your afternoon, sometimes it takes that long to get through everything. Don't you want to enjoy the entire pot of tea, anyway??

~dress well. No holes in your jeans or ragged t-shirts. Tea is supposed to be relaxing but somewhat refined. If you're taking the trouble to go have tiny sandwiches, at least look neat while doing it.

Resources: - where we went to imbibe

It took me 7 days.

It made me Happy

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Filling the Blank Page

This is proving much harder than I originally thought.

It turns out I’m probably a paper-addict. A pulp-o-phile, if you will.
I had a bit of free time on Tuesday as I was keeping out of the house while the maids were wielding their craft, and an hour of that was spent wandering around the inside of a Barnes and Nobles. I saw several sketchbooks and small lined notebooks for sale for $5, and it took quite a bit of will power to NOT purchase a whole stack of them to bring home. What would I do with them, anyway?? I already have so many!
Even knowing better I took a quick whirl around the Moleskine display to look at what they had there. And once again I found myself wanting to purchase the small pink or green notebooks, or the sketchbooks with the thicker paper… I fondled them, rubbing the paper lovingly between my fingertips. I already know as soon as my current one is done, I’m picking up one of those next even though there are other notebooks that want for filling in this house. Is that not silly??
I’ve renewed my efforts to fill up certain books with poetry, others with koans and thoughts on Buddhism, meditation and the process… and still others I just write and screw around in. Probably the singularly least reverential use of a moleskine notebook ever.
I think to myself “Oh, I’ll have them for when I run out of the current ones, since I might not like the designs that come later.”
Really now, brain? I mean… REALLY? When, exactly, are we going to finish up our idea to work on every different recognized way to create poetry? The Bleeding Ink Project we were working on?? Or make that book of fond memories from our childhood? Or even finish the scrapbook from Japan? WHEN, exactly?? So… yeah. I have a hard enough time keeping track of what I’ve got, so I’m going to do my best not to add to it. But even as we’re sitting here I’m thinking back to the lovely smaller notebooks with the inkblock prints by Hiroshige on the cover and I know if I go back there while they’re still on the shelves, I will purchase them. And I hang my head in shame.

Damn my lust for the blank page! I blame my mom for my tendency towards stationary. At least it’s something lame and I don’t have a serious coke habit.

February down!

I took two HUGE bags of clothing to Goodwill and even left them with my old mandolin. Someone will see it, fall in love with it, and make melodious music on it. Me? Never could, probably because it was most seriously cheap.

There’s also a book sale going on at the local library. I’ve been gathering up books to take, but so far it’s proven to be more books than I’ve got boxes. If I can get all of them to the book sale, though, I’ll feel really good about what I’ve done, AND manage to do 2 charitable things in February (which is really my goal, honestly. More than one charitable thing a month, but I’m keeping it low so I don’t kill myself!)

Monday, February 15, 2010

Revisiting my youth.

I used to simply wander all through the streets of Seattle without any real point, just wanting to see what I could see.

Now that I live in the ‘burbs it’s a bit tougher, as aimless wandering can get you lost somewhere where there’s nothing at all, or even worse someplace that’s just plain boring! I feel like there aren’t a lot of places to adventure around here, it’s all strip malls and car dealerships. Perhaps I should head to West Chester, just park, and walk the streets one fine day. Maybe I’ll stop in and have tea somewhere that looks lovely, or discover a used bookshop. These small moments connected like a string of beads, a necklace of memory that makes me smile to think on it.

I must definitely do this more often.

Slowly Dawning... is becoming more obvious as I forge forward and continue to make these changes in my life that those things I was unsure about, or didn't dare to think might be true are, in fact, true.
Everything that I lack is only a matter of practice. Literally. And up until now for some reason that just never clicked in my head. I can't draw the human form so great right now. It can and will be remedied by lots of drawing, over and over and over. I have that ability, and I have that chance to improve. That small realization alone makes the world open up a little more.
Why all these sudden realizations? Well, because the Universe keeps dropping things in to my lap to show me my general silliness.
Last week I took my desktop PC and my poor netbook to be looked at. I gave directions for what needed to be done to fix them, since I hadn't been able to update the BIOS myself successfully on the netbook.
After a conversation with the man on the phone, he assured me I had no idea what I was talking about and that it was an issue with the battery relays, or something on the motherboard. He said, though, that he would flash the BIOS as I'd requested.
He didn't do anything that I'd requested, actually, in spite of me assuring him that problem with the netbook was a known issue. I admit that I am furious and it takes me some time to calm down and be civil regarding this, but that is because I hate people assuming I am stupid. But in this case, honestly, I feel I have the right to be.
Why? Because upon checking my netbook later I discovered that he had NOT updated the BIOS as he claimed. He hadn't done anything except, I suspect, just reflash what was already on there. The fact that he told me the relays were the issue also told me he'd done utterly no research on the problem. I then turned around and went to google to research it to determine just how long it might've taken.
A google search of 2 minutes found me 4 forum posts talking about the problem, followed by numerous posts referencing the link on Acer's own website along with a file to download and run that will literally do the fix FOR you. I unzipped the file, ran it, rebooted, and watched it find and start to charge the battery about 2 minutes after rebooting. Total time? 12 minutes.
From this I am taking away that I need nothing in terms of help with fixing my equipment, and that deferring to a supposed expert is ridiculous unless you can verify their knowledge. I paid $50 for someone to ignore me on the phone and fix my own machine.
Needless to say, I'm calling them tomorrow and asking for a refund. I'm mostly sure it's because of the ridiculous oversight of the person who was supposedly fixing the computer and not out of damage to my ego from talking with the gentleman on the phone. Mostly.
Following this I am now certain that if I don't know it, I can find it and remember it and make it work. If I can't do it now, I can work at it and eventually do it. After all, in the course of a few short weeks I have performed more feats I was sure I'd never manage, or not manage for at least a year after the onset of the attempt.

I have said it to the point of over-using the phrase, but the discovery of all of this is freeing. The future is once more open and I can fill it with anything I choose. Silly though it might seem, I'd always waited to see what might occur. Now, to steal another over-used phrase, I'm starting to realize I always had the ability to bring "will to power". However, I shall do it without beating on a drum and claiming my womanpower. I'm just gonna go f*ing DO it.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Better with a partner. - 43 Things Goals

After chasing down a couples’ yoga class for 3 years I finally managed to get in to one with the husband. We had a blast! He really, really enjoyed himself and is looking forward to the next one next Friday.

Unfortunately it only runs for 4 weeks, but it’s my hope that in doing this the “scary” bit is gone and we’ll do it together more often. It’ll help me keep up my yoga practice and help him limber up while he exercises.

I’d actually purchased a couples’ yoga DVD before, but it had seemed quite intimidating to watch the couple on it go through the motions (it was VERY obvious they’d practiced for a long time). Having an instructor give us different levels of difficulty to attempt really helped and reinforced my belief that such body-mind focused endeavors like yoga and tai-chi MUST be done with an instructor, at least in the beginning. We recognized several of the positions from the DVD and it occured to us they might cover all of the positions in that DVD before the 4 weeks were up. If so, we could continue it later, and that has me more excited.

It was a wonderful time and a good reminder of how much fun it can be to be in a class. I have fond memories of going to classes with my Mom and with friends and I’ve missed having an instructor to check my posture. I think I might sign up for weekly classes to increase the drive to meet this goal and make sure that even on a busy week I’ll get in at least one session.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sculpting by Wind - the Aftermath

Had to share this image. Once again my cell phone takes a most surprising and awesome image. The aftermath of the storm that I've been excitedly awaiting does not disappoint me.

Actual conversation #86 - Bob Lets On How He Really Feels About My Bubble Antics

"If you're going to take a bubble bath and make me watch Heroes, I'm buying Tequila. I'm going to need a drink."

(To be fair, I do dump bubble bath in the tub then turn the jets on to see how high a mountain of bubbles can get. Every time. And he finds the bathroom like that. Every time. So the drink is warranted.)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Softer Side of the February Fury

This morning at 10 am all was soft and peaceful. I took this picture then, actually.

Then....the snow came pouring out the sky like the floodgates of a turgid dam finally opening after a spring of many rains. At times we could barely see out to the tree perhaps 30 feet away. The only sound was snow upon snow as it glanced and ricocheted past itself like streams of crystal in the wind.

My dog has perfect the art of leaping out of the snow on all four legs the way a springbok runs on the Serengeti. At some point when this is occurring I shall videotape it, because otherwise the true hilarity of seeing it in motion is not to be believed. He trounced around in the snow and helped to play until a kid walked by with a shovel. Zen was then this poor child's best friend, even going so far as trying to steal his shovel. Poor beast must have thought the kid was trying to play fetch. Sadly, after that demonstration where he ignored us calling him, he won't be allowed to go play out in the snow again. He's too hyper and disobedient.

We later took a walk, Bob and Zen and I, to the end of the block and back. It was in the midst of the driving winds and the drifting snow that felt like painfully cold sand on the cheeks. There was something enlivening about it, as if we'd somehow conquered something by heading out in to the evening with the monster tearing around us and nipping at us with its icy teeth.

Part of me is sad that we'll begin to tame it in the morning, shoveling it in to piles and off our walkways. But for now it rules the night and the wind is a constant reminder that we are always only a few hours away from being stripped of our civilization and tossed to the winter.

A View in to the Maw of the Beast

A quick view out my back door at the wild winter. It's only a few spare moments from a serious whiteout, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I would love to see that happen. Even as I send this, it gusts worse past the door and off in to the valley.

Snowmageddon 2010 - the February Fury

We're sitting at 12.5 inches, and this is only after some of the snow has been blown off the usually-sheltered upper deck of our house. It may be more, but that's the official total right now. It is still falling.

The trees look like druidic beings draped in white, ponderous and waiting in the storm for...something. What, I don't know. But they obviously know something and they aren't sharing it. Perhaps they might tell me if I bundled up and went out to ask, but for now I think we're both okay in our respective habitats.

I've taken so many pictures of the trees around my house in the snow that I find I'm getting tired of doing it. The weather is just beautiful but I can't find a way to properly document its wonder with what I have. Short of setting up a video camera and just taking 2 hours of footage, I think I'm going to have to let this one be unique and mostly undocumented. A shame, as I have some b&w film in the Diana and I was hoping to do a comparison between the Holga and it (since the Holga got the last big winter storm). Maybe there's something interesting and new that I can find yet. We shall have to wait and see.

What's wonderful is that there will be more snow on Tuesday. As if the year was holding its breath then letting everything loose in the last month of the year. It's wonderful. We need the slow snow melt for the spring water tables.

I really enjoy being at the mercy of a snowstorm. It reminds me of how far we've come that this isn't life-threatening and that we'll be warm through it. I get to see the beauty of nature and feel gratitude with each drift of white on the ground. Someone out there is not so lucky.

Killing a Moment in 2 Actions or Less.

Today I disturbed Bob in the middle of a poetic moment. He had the back door open with his head poking out, just watching the snow fall. He was commenting on how wonderful and magical it looked, and I was entranced with how he seemed so happy and childlike.

Unthinking, I wrapped my arms around myself because there was a wall of cold air spilling in to the room. It would go away as soon as the door was closed, but I only realized this and thought to simply appreciate the feel of it just as he caught a glimpse of me looking cold.

He apologized as he closed the door and headed upstairs. I feel horrible, like somehow I've shot the little boy that was looking up at the snow coming down with such beautiful wonder. It's making me hesitate to go upstairs because saying something might just make it worse.

I hope we go out and make snow angels tomorrow. Maybe the little boy will come back out to play. I really want to see him again.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Lightbulb -Or Rather Flashbulb - Goes On

Today I finally allowed myself to believe that I have talent as a photographer.

Prior to this I thought I just got lucky shots in, and that the sheer volume of photos I took would allow me to have a few good ones in the bunch. The reverse of that is actually opposite. I have taken so ~many~ photos that framing the shot to make it somewhat interesting is becoming a reflex and not something I'm strivng for or looking for.

When I beheld the photos taken on the very, very small 3.0 megapixel camera contained in my EnV3 cell phone and saw that they were actually of a much nicer quality than the ones I snagged with the 7.1 megapixel digital camera, it finally dawned on me that the only difference between the two was the tonal quality and the clarity of the pixels. Had the digital had a higher megapixel ratio and the ability to color-adjust to warmer tones on a white landscape, they would've been perfectly acceptable shots. Thus realized, I stood there quietly for a moment and realized my goal of being able to call myself "a photographer" was now upon me. At this point fiddling with the technical aspects of things will tighten things up.

Anything you put in my hands that captures an image will work. My only hinderance is understanding of the limitations of the tool. This is very, very freeing.
But this is all secondary. I have a good eye for the scene in front of me. I am damned proud of that.

I'm going to make a pinhole camera out of an Altoids tin just because I can now. I am feeling defiant and cocky in light of this new realization!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

February-06 Snowmageddon from the back door

Originally uploaded by Red1332
A view of the aftermath, or at least a closeup of our back porch. The storm has eaten most of what's normally visible. Our table stands there almost wobbily with the snow it's supporting.

Snowmageddon 2010 - addendum (x-posted from Live Journal)

I enjoyed the blessed irony of this and just had to share what has gone down in my living room.

First off, please understand that there is a massive snowstorm going on outside. It is so vicious and drifting that both crows and common finches alike cannot fly straight in to the wind. They hang there as if in suspended animation, wings beating fruitlessly as the snow whips past them in a semi-sheer curtain. These are the snows of my youth where winter took hold of everything and throttled it in to submission, bidding it to rest beneath the blanket of white because it was giving no other choice. These were times when snow tunnels and snow forts and snow men and angels grew out of the landscape, the product of fertile childrens' imaginations let loose upon a white crystalline palette. I'm smiling as I sit here to think of all the children who have endured a brown winter bursting forth from their houses to play and sled. We'll share a common memory and a fondness. I'm looking forward to the wet sting of the stuff as it creeps in between my clothing and skin to melt. We're old friends.
In the midst of this our puppy looks out the back door longingly, wanting to play. He makes the circuit between our big back glass doors and the fireplace, where a gas fire is plugging away merrily at the chill that's settled in the downstairs.

Before I began my C++ programming homework, before I took to finishing a pair of knit socks I've been working on since August, and before I could allow myself to go exercise, I checked my email quickly. I discovered that there was an email there that I'd been waiting for for a while now. The Japan-America Society of Greater Philadelphia finally announced dates for the spring festivities within Philadelphia.
We had gone last year to several events planned for this, including the taiko drummers concert and an official tea ceremony that we partook of and enjoyed immensely. As it was all happening a month before going to Japan, we were excited to take it in. Now that we've gone, we find that any small shot in the arm of the culture we loved so much is a wonderful treat.
The date for the Cherry Blossom Festival was contained within, along with a link to partake in a special event where the top sushi chefs in Philly prepare the aforementioned fare and we would get to sample along with drinks. I excitedly bought us two tickets and thought ahead to the beautiful pink blossoms that would explode in Fairmount Park again this year.
Then I turned to look outside and laughed. It's like Hoth. Anything with sense has bedded down and the trees outside haven't even thought about forming the buds of spring yet. But here I was dreaming of April with it's chill breezes and another kind of storm - that of falling pink cherry blossoms. The dichotomy amused me.

If anybody will be in the area and plans on attending, give a shout. It'll be fun to see familiar faces there. it's a wonderful event.

Now... on to homework and the rest of the day.

Snowmageddon 2010

We are currently hunkered down waiting for the sky to finish falling. So far it looks like about 6 inches of it has, I'm told there's still 12 inches up there according to the Weather channel. It appears to be ice crystals, so it probably won't make for good snowman snow as I'd hoped. It would be excellent to ski on, though. Too bad we're at the bottom of a valley.

I finally got to talk with Bob about my 5 year plan and show him what I had in store. I must admit that I was afraid he would look at what I'd written up and have some comments about it - that it was unrealistic, that I was being selfish in my goals, or that in general it was stupid.
Instead, he read through it, mentioned that he was thinking the same on a lot of my goals, and that he thought they were all wonderful. I must admit that I stared at him in disbelief and relief for a second. Since I'd created it in a vacuum, not knowing what his own goals were for the next few years I was afraid that I was shooting for something that would go against plans he had in his mind so we would be at odds. This isn't the case at all, and I am mightily relieved.
Now that he knew what I was trying to do, I was free to admit that I am swamped with trying to accomplish things and set them straight in these first few months of setting up my goals. I've been going crazy nearly every day, and that I've been unable to get everything done that I've wanted so I was exhausting myself trying to. On top of this I've been scared that if I didn't have the house completely clean, on top of working on school and trying to exercise and do all of these other things that I would be perceived as screwing around. Being out of work right now I do feel that I'm a drain on us and that I'm taking an unfair break while Bob works. I was most concerned that Bob was carrying an unfair burden because I was laid off. He assures me that the house is being kept tidy, and that I should be focusing on school. As long as I'm not failing, the house can get a little cluttered and dirty.
I was so relieved I actually cried. So silly to hold on to those old things and not talk about them with him until now!
I must thank the snowstorm because we got to go to the diner and talk with each other as a means of getting out before we had to stay inside as civilization digs out. Over strawberry pancakes for me and a steak for him we got to reconnect, experience the snowfall (on my nose and cheeks, it felt wonderful. I don't remember the last time I felt snow on my face) and I got to pour out how I felt I was letting him down by letting the dishes sit in the sink while I worked on my personal goals. I've been informed that the dishes can sit, that I'm a little silly, and he's excited for what I have planned. Even now I am tearing up a little bit to think on it. I feel released to move forward and hadn't realized how much my worries were sapping my energy and holding me back. I'm ready to jump forward now. It feels good.

To date I have managed to do yoga twice a week, and I am gearing up on the exercise portion and writing portion of my 5 year plan. I'm clearing up knitting projects to get them out of my queue and letting that energy go as well. It's like a giant cleansing. And to go along with it, I've officially lost 8 lbs. and I seem to be keeping it off. I've also kicked my habit of drinking soda and coffee mindlessly, switching it out for tea. Everything feels possible now, and as each goal falls away I feel excited that more momentum is gained towards the rest.

As I look out now, even in the time of writing this there is perhaps another half inch of snow on the ground. It's begun to creep up the porch to our back doors where it is banked up against it in a white drift. I have missed this winter and am happy to see it revisit with ferocity. Any time nature steps forward to remind us that we are not truly the masters, I like to smile and take the opportunity to just curl up in my den of a house and appreciate the schooling.

When I get up to walk Zen in the morning, I think it'll be quite difficult to get out the back door. I look forward to watching him bounce through it.

Time to sleep, drifting off to the sound of ice crystals sliding across the window glass.

Friday, February 5, 2010

How to fix my computer


How I did it: I went in to the guts of my computer and cleaned up the silvering compound between the fan and the processor, retightened everything on the mobo, installed some rubber stoppers between the feet of the fan and the mobo and took out all but one stick of the memory. After putting everything back together and running some tests it STILL wouldn't post, so at this point I have to turn it over to some computer techies who have a workshop with lots o' parts to switch out and play with, something I don't have. At least I will get a working computer back finally!

Lessons & tips: If you don't know what the inside of your computer does and didn't build it, turn it over to whoever did. If you bought it from Dell or another known computer corporation call their helpline or find a local retailer that's certified to work with them.
Otherwise, if you know what you're doing, get your broken/fried/defective parts replaced with sexy, new, working parts from Newegg or Tiger Direct.

It took me 1 day.

It made me Relieved