Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Enuff wit LOLCats.

I give you LOLPumpkins.

Eventually I will take these guys off my porch instead of photographing them and messing around in Photoshop.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Pirate vs. Ninja

I realized it had been a while since I updated my geek wardrobe. To that end I went out on the web looking for items that might be suitable to cover myself with against the elements. I ended up on ThinkGeek and discovered they had one of the best gimmicks I have seen in a long time.

I present to you...pirate vs. ninja batteries.

It's utterly brilliant. If you're a fan of this famous internet-and-geek debate you can also power your flashlight, your remote control or even your vibrator with these babies! And the whole time you can sit there and laugh in your geeky glory at the subtle little inside joke going on in your favorite alkaline-dependant device.
I've seen bumper stickers and T-shirts. This is an awesome idea for a product and it sort of helps revive the whole debate, which I've seen starting to lag the way LOLcats should start to any day now. (Or at least I hope so.)
By the way...ninjas are cooler. Don't bother arguing it. Stealth and shuriken will win out over a parrot, an eye patch and a hook-hand ANY day.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Halloween Costumes/Lingerie

I'd had it in my head that I was going to write this big, long rant about the massive differences between women's and men's halloween costumes. As in...Men then to have a lot of clothing, it covers there entire body. It is moderatly well sized for them and generally they don't have to worry about their junk magically popping out if they bend over to pick up something.
For example, these:

Here we have a perfectly acceptable ghostbuster and wizard costume. Nothing's overly tight, nothing's revealing. If you showed up in this, people would laugh and go wow, that's kinda cool, where's Ecto One? (Or where's the hobbits in the case of the latter.)
But when women go Halloween shopping, this is what we have to deal with. The following are the female versions of the same costumes.

First off, if you bend over the whole world is going to see Victoria's not-so-secret secret, and why does the cleavage have to be showing like that? Is Halloween just about being oversexed and slutty these days?
When I went out looking for costumes I noticed that a great deal of women's costumes were low cut, slit up the thigh, or so short you probably shouldn't bend over in them. I can see wearing something like this for your significant other to goof around, but as something that's supposed to be seen by the general public? It leaves me puzzled why costumers think that the holiday is better when tarted up a bit.
And furthermore, the ONLY female wizard costume I could find was Hermione-turns-18. Why a student?? Why isn't there something out there to dress up like Professor McGonagal? That would sell out in a flash!
So anyway...I was going to write this long rant and then after deciding not to I thought I would just point out the obvious...costume companies are run by men. Mine was homemade with a one dollar bottle of blood, a $4 sweater from Good Will, a torn pair of stockings and a borrowed skirt. And I got compliments for looking excellent. Whereas somewhere out there some girl dressed as a wizard was dealing with frostbite on her décolletage and derrière. And I'm going to bet they didn't get nearly the attention I did this Halloween Season.
Happy All Saint's Day and El Dia de los Muertos.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Cartoon: Sanrio meets Anatomy.

I have many items with Hello Kitty on them. But late this evening I started sketching with some new art markers and the following is shown here.

I mean...seriously. She appears to be made from jet puff marshmellow mix. There's no way she's got a skeletal structure, or if she does it is most likely very deformed. She only has a very vestigial thumb and utterly no joints to speak of in her limbs.

Anyway, I've now taken my markers away from myself and it's now time to go do something more productive.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

News Watch: Well done, Burma!

This week the Burmese government fired warning shots and threw tear gas at protesting Buddhist monks. Among the various reasons for their protest was the government's treatment of its citizens, along with the beating of several monks a few weeks ago after a similar protest. To add insult to injury the government closed down one of the holiest shrines and would not allow the monks to enter.
The whole thing apparently started over, rather interestingly, gas prices.
The irony of beating a monk who's protesting the governments brutality against protestors is so thick I don't really think I need to go much further. Suffice to say, picking on a Buddhist monk is like running over a kitten with a semi-truck.
However, a quick review of today's news shows the monks are back at it. That sort of determination and devotion to non-violent protest is something we really need to see more of in these times where people feel grievances should be solved with a car bomb.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Useless Super Hero Skills

So often the question is asked... if you were to suddenly obtain super-human powers, what would you want to have?
Most people respond happily that they want to fly, or be invisible, or have telekinesis. But we're missing an essential issue in asking the question.
First off, did any super hero ever CHOOSE to have the power they were given? From the various comics I have Unless you count Batman. But he's not really super-human so much as pissed off, determined, and RIPPED. Which is similar. But back to the point of this paragraph, most super heroes were either born with their powers, received them at puberty, or got them after some massive accident. And at no point did they bring out a birthday cake and say Okay little Timmy! You're 8 now! You're a man! Do you want to be able to lift objects thousands of times your weight, or would you like to be able to shoot lasers from your head?
Doesn't happen.
Therefore I would posit that someone suddenly obtaining super powers does NOT get the choice and I wanted to showcase a few of the less-than-stellar abilities possible.

The Porphyria Touch
Like the Midas Touch, except instead of gold everything you touch becomes the same hue of purple. -

~Your grandmother is in the midst of knitting a sweater and discovers that she's bought yarn from two different dye lots. Problem solved!
~Easy hair dye solution for your goth friends.
~You have a legitimate excuse to sport cool leather gloves like Rogue.

~Figuring out how to wear gloves in the shower. Purple skin is only sexy in Star Trek and Andromeda.
~You're screwed if you don't like purple.
~Wiping your eyes first thing in the morning can become risky.
~You can never ever ever give your significant other a hand job.

The Krige Effect
The ability to find and remember when Alice Krige is in any film format including photographs, film and TV specials. -

~ You will always win any drinking games involving Alice Krige.
~ The phrase "I bet you $5 Alice Krige is in this old movie" is always followed by someone handing you five bucks.

~ Only really useful in betting situations or as a trick akin to "Kevin Bacon" at cocktail parties.
~ With the growing popularity of Alice Krige, chances are slim that you will be able to win a bet based on her most recent run of films. Everybody knows what the Borg Queen looks like now.

Milk Sense
The intuitive knowledge of the exact moment in time when a dairy product will go bad. -

~ No more surprises when one opens the dairy drawer of the fridge.
~ Special consideration given for your application to quality control or your local dairy council.

~ Friends may stop inviting you over due to your tendency to inform them about the contents of their fridge.

More will be forthcoming as they occur to me.


Virgin trial run of's blogging system! one-two-three and such....

And despite all appearances, I am NOT in Afghanistan.