...it is becoming more obvious as I forge forward and continue to make these changes in my life that those things I was unsure about, or didn't dare to think might be true are, in fact, true.
Everything that I lack is only a matter of practice. Literally. And up until now for some reason that just never clicked in my head. I can't draw the human form so great right now. It can and will be remedied by lots of drawing, over and over and over. I have that ability, and I have that chance to improve. That small realization alone makes the world open up a little more.
Why all these sudden realizations? Well, because the Universe keeps dropping things in to my lap to show me my general silliness.
Last week I took my desktop PC and my poor netbook to be looked at. I gave directions for what needed to be done to fix them, since I hadn't been able to update the BIOS myself successfully on the netbook.
After a conversation with the man on the phone, he assured me I had no idea what I was talking about and that it was an issue with the battery relays, or something on the motherboard. He said, though, that he would flash the BIOS as I'd requested.
He didn't do anything that I'd requested, actually, in spite of me assuring him that problem with the netbook was a known issue. I admit that I am furious and it takes me some time to calm down and be civil regarding this, but that is because I hate people assuming I am stupid. But in this case, honestly, I feel I have the right to be.
Why? Because upon checking my netbook later I discovered that he had NOT updated the BIOS as he claimed. He hadn't done anything except, I suspect, just reflash what was already on there. The fact that he told me the relays were the issue also told me he'd done utterly no research on the problem. I then turned around and went to google to research it to determine just how long it might've taken.
A google search of 2 minutes found me 4 forum posts talking about the problem, followed by numerous posts referencing the link on Acer's own website along with a file to download and run that will literally do the fix FOR you. I unzipped the file, ran it, rebooted, and watched it find and start to charge the battery about 2 minutes after rebooting. Total time? 12 minutes.
From this I am taking away that I need nothing in terms of help with fixing my equipment, and that deferring to a supposed expert is ridiculous unless you can verify their knowledge. I paid $50 for someone to ignore me on the phone and fix my own machine.
Needless to say, I'm calling them tomorrow and asking for a refund. I'm mostly sure it's because of the ridiculous oversight of the person who was supposedly fixing the computer and not out of damage to my ego from talking with the gentleman on the phone. Mostly.
Following this I am now certain that if I don't know it, I can find it and remember it and make it work. If I can't do it now, I can work at it and eventually do it. After all, in the course of a few short weeks I have performed more feats I was sure I'd never manage, or not manage for at least a year after the onset of the attempt.
I have said it to the point of over-using the phrase, but the discovery of all of this is freeing. The future is once more open and I can fill it with anything I choose. Silly though it might seem, I'd always waited to see what might occur. Now, to steal another over-used phrase, I'm starting to realize I always had the ability to bring "will to power". However, I shall do it without beating on a drum and claiming my womanpower. I'm just gonna go f*ing DO it.