Friday, April 17, 2009

An Experiment Worthy of Duplication

This comes courtesy of Bumps in the Night, who do the best mockumentary on the ghost-hunting reality TV trend I've come across. It is also the only one I've come across. But you can REALLY tell they put some good effort in to it, so they get extra points for that.

"Since this -April 16- is, (per Sci-Fi Channel’s marketing campaign) “The Most Dangerous Night on Television,’ we here at Bumps in the Night decided to watch it in the most dangerous way possible: drunk, with the windows open."

Hell yes. I'll take Dance of the Dead, Let the Right One In, 28 Days Later and a bottle 140 proof OMG This Was a Bad Idea in Liquid Form, for $400 please, Alex.

The blog goes on to be further amusing when reviewing "Legion of the Dead". SciFi's inability to actually view what it is they show, but insisting on calling it "scary", "horrific", "terrifying" and "chilling" mostly suggest that someone got a Thesaurus for Xmas and was asked to do a marketing campaign without viewing the product. I'm told that's actually how the Captain Lightning Rod cosplay costume line got its start.

I love horror movies. I love zombie movies even more so. There is nothing quite like the chills I got upon watching Hellraiser for the first time. Seeing Friday the 13th and F13 part 2 scared me so much I refused to take a shower with the shower curtain closed for THREE MONTHS. (Not an exaggeration. I finally talked myself in to closing it after Mom complained of water on the bathroom floor and impugned my honor by saying it was courtesy of direct action on my part.) I was, for a short time in my youth, utterly convinced that Pinhead would pop out while I was delivering newspapers on my newspaper route and kidnap me, taking me somewhere vaguely dark with lots of chains and nails and mutter things that were confusingly sexual but dangerous. Then nobody would finish delivering the papers and my parents would get phone calls and I would be SO grounded.
I loved this stuff. You can't peel me from the TV when AMCs monster fest comes on. Halloween? Yes plz. Halloween 2? Yes moar plz. Halloween 4 contains whiny kid. Halloween where Busta Rhymes actually goes kung-fu on Michael Myers? YES PLZ. (Don't remember the actual number, but it's somewhere between 5 and 83 and this point.)
It's good to see that there are fans of good horror movies out there, and that they are also equally willing to completely lampoon the utterly horrid ones. I knew this was a phenomenon spawned back in the days of budding young cable shows like MST3K, but it does my heart good to see the tradition has migrated over to the internet and moved beyond Mike Nelson and his crew. It's a long and storied tradition, and honest to god there needs to be more of it. Especially when SciFi/SyFy just slops the fodder out there for us to partake in and comment upon.
I think this has got to happen, and I think I need to be a part of it. I think drunken watching of horror movies with the windows wide open has to go down, and I will even wander off by myself to go to the bathroom, followed by having sex. Because as we all know, any one of those things or a combination of any of these guarantee that Monster Mentioned In Title will find me and end me.
This seems like a really, really good plan. I need to dig out my horror movie collection and see what I haven't watched yet.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hey Red! Wanted to let you know that a new "Dangerous Reviews" is up. Thanks so much for your support!