Sunday, April 26, 2009

My main moment of amusement for the day

What was potentially the best moment today, a dream that woke me up.

I was in the midst of dreaming that we were at a resort, and there was one shop that was difficult to get to, only the really hard core people would go to see it. apparently it had a lot of rare momentos from famous actors and actresses and musicians. Specifically, I remember there being a nickel signed by someone who was big in the 70's, and it was on display and for sale for $250. (I'm sure this is my mind's idea of an ironic commentary on celebrity worship and free enterprise.)
I decided I wanted to be one of the hardcore visitors and climb up to this shop on the cliff. But when I got up there, for some reason the first thing I asked was if they would take my credit card.
The shop owner, a nice looking middle-aged woman, smiled and said absolutely, she took cards. As long as they were used at the ATM (at the bottom of the cliff and across the street) in front of another store to get cash, as she could only ring up cash.
Somehow this didn't come across as smart-ass.
When I admitted I only had the card, she offered to walk with me down to the ATM and come back, as it was going to be a pain to get down and come back. The other customer in the shop said she would come along, too.
So the shop owner and the other customer are climbing down the cliff face, and I walk over and start to lean forward to balance myself and swing out to get a toehold for climbing. Except I completely miss and roll off the edge, shooting past the two women on the cliff face staring at me in astonishment.
I must stress to you that, as a cliff, this was not a misnomer. It was very high. Probably the better part of a ten story building. So climbing up it really sucked. And slipping off of it sucked worse.
Here's the good part.
As I fell, I looked at the shop owner in embarrassment and said "Oops!" Then as I continued to plummet, I called "I guess I'll see you down there!" to both women, watching them recede above me.
It occurred to me halfway towards the bottom to roll over so I landed on my back, as I would probably break my arms landing on them. So I rolled, and right about that time I hit the earth, bounced a few feet up, then came to rest in the dust.
As I lay there staring up at the cliff, I realized that surviving a fall from that height was completely impossible, and that what had happened was utter bullshit. Literally, I thought "this is utter bullshit. I should be dead. What's with the bouncing??"
At that point I actually woke myself up laughing.
Then two minutes later when I was fully awake and realized again what I'd said I lost it again. I hadn't laughed in my sleep in a long time. It was good to start a morning that way.
But...
"Oops. I guess I'll see you down there."
Really, brain? Really??

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