Wednesday, April 1, 2009

What exactly is your usual customer base?

I proudly purchased some New Balance walking shoes about a week ago for the purpose of having a decent, non-ratty pair of sneakers to walk around Tokyo in.
They arrived yesterday evening. I unpacked them with a great deal of excitement, tossing the usual swath of glossy ads to the side in my drive for my new kicks.
After determining that they were in there and just as awesome as the pictures on the website (Yes. I bought them off Amazon, if you must know. Going to an actual shoe store was too much effort for me that day apparently.) I then started sifting through the ads to see what came along with it. I was expecting to see ads for overpriced yoga gear, discounted health club memberships from national chains, and maybe something about some really cruddy women's jewelry.
Instead, I found this.

So... yeah. A Walther PPK with a silencer.
Really? I mean... REALLY???
I scratched my head for a long minute trying to figure out why a pistol would show up with running shoes and if these people had really done their marketing research. A few scenarios did come to mind. Perhaps these were the preferred shoes of female assassins, who liked to pop a cap in someone's ass, then flee like hell. These were the only shoes that offered the traction, arch support and durability for female assassins the world over. I was simply uninformed, and had gotten a really good deal without realizing it.
Next time, though, they might want to, you know, send that to someone who hasn't bought Yoga products in the last 30, 60 and 90 days and who doesn't have a single firearm to her name. The closest I got to that was an issue with some appendages at a barbecue last year.
But eh... what's a few trees in the pursuit of poorly planned marketing forays?

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