Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Actual conversation #32 (with prologue) AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!

It is a glorious day in the United States of America. As a lot of my friends know, I wax poetic on the glories of the Republic and the singular honor of being able to decide who will govern me when so many others in the world don't. I will not rattle off the usual list of things that come to mind, however. I will just say one word. Sudan. Actually.... two words. Zimbabwe. Google "recent news" if you're still lost.

Bob and I bundled ourselves in to the car after having a breakfast of oatmeal together, obtained caffeinated morning drinks from Dunkin Donuts, and headed up to the church where voting was to commence.
We arrived there perhaps 2 minutes before they opened the doors, and the line was already around the outside of hte parking lot and down the hill to the berm of the road. 300 people all waiting to cast their ballots. It was just glorious.
It was also a 2 hour wait for those of us that didn't think to get up early and be there at 5:30, like the first 20 people in the line did.
Once we had our ballots in hand it was a quick minute to look over the candidates. Part of me was tempted to just vote straight party. But then I thought of the rich opportunity I would be robbing myself of by doing that, and instead filled out by hand each individual circle.
When I came to Attorney General really I didn't like the choice of candidates there, so I careful penciled in "Sonic the Hedgehog". I think he's run a good, clean campaign, I've been familiar with his efforts over the years to stop menacing robots from invading (he has been highly successful in this since the early 90's, I might add), and I think he'll be speedy and thorough in his decision making. Couldn't imagine a better man for the job.
All that done, we handed our ballots in to be scanned, then headed out in the cool fall day.
'Tis a beautiful day to breathe American air. Long live the Republic.

Helen: Slacker.
Joseph: hey
Joseph: why am I a slacker?
Helen: For not going to vote!
Joseph: heel no I am trying again after work you can't keep me away from making Mcain go away damit
Joseph: my apologies if he is your conadidat e however!
Helen: Hey, I voted for the guy I think would do the job.
Joseph: col
Helen: Other people will vote for their guy.
Helen: I care not, so long as they get out there.
Helen: Meanwhile....damn are my feet sore from standing.
Joseph: thats what our men and women dies for right?
Helen: Indeed.
Helen: Well, we'd hope.
Helen: If they died for pudding, I assume we would consume mass quantities of pudding in their honor.
Helen: But voting is probably more awesomer.
Joseph haahah indeed hmm puding ughh

It is now my sacred duty today to make sure that every American I come in contact with (and a few confused Germans who call in) have voted; if they have not, it is also my sacred duty to give them unending hell until they give me enough assurance they will.

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