I would like to say that having been out of my job for the larger part of 3 full weeks now that I find myself restless and in need of constant stimulation, the likes of which one can only get with a job that requires constant thought and coworkers to interact with.
But if I said that, I would be a big damn liar.
Like I keep sleeping in and hitting "snooze" on the alarm I set to wake me up for that time of morning I've found I'm most productive. And I nap in the middle of the afternoon. And I drink lots of soda even though I haven't really touched soda in the last 3 years. And I watch pointless TV and forget my To-Do list that I've been rolling over and re-writing every week.
And honestly I don't think of work or taking phone calls or teching anything at all. I think of busting in to some new project that involves me using my brain or my art skills and I leap at that, causing me to do things like create really awesome networks over LAN of computers with different operating systems, and deciding to renew my education in Arduino and Unity that I dropped initially because I couldn't get a big enough block of time to really settle down and practice concepts on.
I learn about awesome things like hitori kakurenbo and Kay Nielsen and red-tailed black cockatoos. I find plans on how to make a Solar USB charger from an Altoids tin and $25 worth of parts.
I keep in touch with friends via text or Facebook, I hug my cats a lot, and in general I am the happiest I have been in recent memory, minus the fantastic lower back pain that creeps up on me from time to time lately.
I don't miss being in tech support, and having spent an entire day down in the art den churning out sketches to be colored later, and taking on challenges from friends for art content, I am in love with being creative and learning constantly once more. The only thing keeping me from getting down there more often is the constant power outages as of late courtesy of daily thunderstorms (the art den has no windows) and the poor choice of chair. That shall soon be replaced, however.
A lot fewer people followed up on contacting me after I left than I had planned, and surprisingly many of them were not ones I'd anticipated. I guess as always I misjudge the ebb and flow of peopledom. One on one I'm pretty good, but in large groups they're an annoying and confusing amalgam of "barely paying attention past 5 seconds before an aft."
It's probably for the best that I am now safely ensconced within my happy house churning out everything I've been missing out on for the past 2 (3? I keep thinking 3 years but the math may not bear out) years. I don't do "people" well. "Person", though, well, I'm getting better at.
I also certainly don't miss doctors advising me that not being able to view their stock portfolios from their work PCs is somehow magically "patient affecting". I don't miss being talked to as if I've been a victim of head trauma all my life, either.
I'm listening to lots of music, and sharing it with my little girl via a splitter and a second set of DJ headphones that go up against my belly. I'm watching horrible B movies, and I'm knitting up many baby items. It's fun. It's restful. It's what I needed to help my brain heal and start behaving in a mostly linear fashion again.
There is a part of my brain waiting for the other shoe to drop, like there's going to be some horrible consequence for deciding to take care of myself over Getting Money. I'm not to the point of looking over my shoulder yet waiting for the boogieman to steal all the happy away and bring back All The Stress. Maybe I get to postpone that until fall, maybe until after Eve is born and I get a chance to get in a rhythm with feeding her and taking care of her and the house and finding ways to get the artz done during nap times.
For now, though, this is awesome. I could live this summer forever.