Girl at Baskin Robbins to coworker, while holding my ice cream: "Hey! Shut your Mouth!"
Me(to Bob): Hey, that girl just got hate all over my ice cream!
Bob: *handing his ice cream off to me so he can pay* AT least mine's okay.
Me: *holding his ice cream up to my mouth and whispering* Obama doesn't have an American birth certificate.
Me: Marriage is between a man and a woman...
Bob: Oh, now you're getting ignorance on it, too??
*ice cream on my cone then falls off, hits one boob, bounces and arcs high enough to bounce off the other boob, then lands on my wrist and stays there, somehow stuck to my rubber bracelets*
Me:....this is the best trip to get ice cream EVER.