Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Chipping away slowly but surely...

Another entry in the battle against letting fear win, and today it did NOT!

I am normally apprehensive about walking in to situations where I don’t know what’s going on, and dropping off a bunch of books at a building I’d never been in to before seemed seriously daunting (so daunting I put it off for 4 days). This morning I woke up and thought you know what? Screw it…I’m not going to die if I walk in there and I don’t know the deal beforehand!
It was so silly, I had nervous twitches up until I got there, and I had to give myself a pep talk over a small, silly thing. but then I walked in, asked where they went, and started ferrying the books back and forth. A few short minutes later and it was done.
I was rather proud of myself. To celebrate and bolster my courage in the future I followed it up by going to the bookstore by myself and wandering around looking at things… something I’d always felt a bit silly about. Like anybody really cares why I’m there by myself? It’s all so silly! Then, as the trifecta of giving nervousness the boot, I went and ordered a green tea latte despite my hesitation, and then enjoyed one hell of an hour sipping at it and looking over the book I got for my niece’s birthday along with a few other things. I wrote in my red moleskine with my red Lamy that had Noodler’s red-black ink, and in general enjoyed the hell out of the day.
I have a new mantra: “This won’t kill me. It’s not that big a deal.”

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