Wednesday, June 17, 2009

If I'm staring at you it's because I've forgotten everything in the world.

The first thing of note to happen to me today was to see a very teeny tiny baby bunny nibbling on grass at the side of the road as I slowed down to go over the verkakte speedbumps they put at the entrances to our little subdivision. I do believe my head popped, and apparently I made a high-enough pitched sound that it sat back and looked at me for a second, whilst still chewing on what must have been some epic food.
So that was kind of cool.
This is the first time that I can remember (important qualifier there) that I have had a massage and continue to experience pain as a result. Usually it's totally awesome and I feel refreshed and springy the next day. Last night Norah gave me the People's Elbow -literally- and I feel as if I have been doing jumping jacks and pushups for three or four hours... and then was beaten with rocks. All of my muscles ache. Perhaps I didn't drink enough fluids last night afterward to flush everything out? I'm not sure, but I crack and creak when I walk today and it is most unpleasant to perambulate about feeling as if 30 years was magically added to all my joints and major muscle groups. I'm thinking I need to start going back systematically and getting crunched every 2 weeks, minimum. Then maybe this won't happen again.
Last night after arriving home Bob and I sat out back on lawn chairs and watched the blitzkrieg of fireflies rise out of the strip of high grass and completely take over the trees. It was amazing that these animals that we only see for a few nights every year survive in such great numbers asleep beneath the soil as they do. I thought about the sheer numbers there, and just how many would rise out of an entire field of high grass, how the glow would be amazing to witness. And also how Japan was probably seeing fireflies there as well. It was whimsical to think that a country on the other side of the planet had people stopping to watch them the same as I was.
As we talked last night, Bob and I hit upon the idea for next summer's epic trip... we usually seem to have one thing that stands out moreso than the others. This year obviously was Japan. But we tossed around the idea of driving up to Maine for a bit to experience the place one weekend until we realized the drive alone would eat up the better part of a day. We've now decided to wait until next year and make it at least a week up there, probably with stops in Boston and Connecticut.
I have wanted to go to Maine for a few years now, as I've seen very little of New England but it's just right up there. I've dreamed of walking on the beaches of Acadia ever since seeing photographs of them in College. I thought about standing on Mt. Washington and looking out over the woods. Also, I will have officially been to all 4 corners of the United States and it's two straggling outer members with this, and there's something that feels very complete about that.
I'm currently excited enough to be researching things about it even though it's over a year away. Also, I've gotta note that I'm about as excited to go to Maine as I was to go to Japan, and it does my heart good to know that apparently my brain doesn't "grade" new possible experiences as much as I thought it did!
Currently I've got a backup in projects awaiting my attention, but I find myself so tired in the afternoons after I get home that it's very hard to find the energy to work on them. We manage to wrangle dinner pretty well, then shortly after that the energy just takes this immense dive and I sit down to stare at things for a bit or fall asleep. It's obviously not a blood sugar thing, as I'm not shaky or scatter-brained. But because of this I have a growing list of things that need finished that has started to weigh on me, in part because they're also "fun" things that I do, and not 100% necessary (like standing outside taking firefly photographs, you know...)
A quick rundown of what I'm in the middle of -really for the purposes of personally tracking this stuff-:
~A new pair of socks for bob
~A new pair of socks for me (working on second sock, almost time to create the heel!)
~Yoga socks
~a crocheted sweater
~A baby pillow
~An amigurumi chocobo
~A Dr. Manhattan mini-amigurumi
~A scarf
~a watercolor of a sea turtle
~an abstract acrylic painting
~two hemp necklaces
~a massive list of unbegun sketches, paintings and sculptures I've had to start writing down to keep track of in my mind.
On top of this is my constantly forgotten promise to walk for half an hour 3 times a week, do some yoga to limber up, and remember to lift weights. Oh, and also do my homework, do the dishes, pick up the house, and whatever else comes up.
I completely forget this when I get home. It's like my brain turns off and I go in to power-saver mode. I hate it.
I also hate that I've had to go back to coffee to keep me awake during the days. Tea just wasn't handling it and I was in danger of nodding off constantly.
I'm starting to wonder if it isn't the place we're at. Even with walking constantly, sleeping on strange stiff beds and eating strange cuisine, I did BETTER in Japan than I am doing here. I was not this sore, this tired, or this (pardon the sharing) digestively volatile in a completely foreign situation. I think that kinda says something. Maybe like I should just eat rice and soba and tofu and see if that doesn't balance things out better.
I think if we were to win Powerball tonight I would probably hire someone to keep track of my brain until it was back to normal functioning on its own, whatever that entailed.
Yeah. Universe, let's try that out and see if it works. 72 million is enough to experiment with...

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