Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I heart fireflies

Today apparently my pet peeve has been the anthropomorphization of the body's actions. I know this because I was getting coffee (given my falling asleep at slow moments in the work day I am forced back to Le Caffeine Liquide) and an ad came on the television in the breakroom that began with "Your headache knows when you're stressed..."
My first reaction? No, you morons, it doesn't know when you're stressed, it's a physiological reaction to the tightening or enlarging of blood vessels in one's head due to stress or changes in health. If you have a headache it's because you're out of whack, stop making it sound like outside influences are the cause of such shit...
...and then I realized how badly I needed the coffee I was done preparing and now clutching in my sleepy hands. I was arguing with a glib one-liner produced by a marketing firm who honestly didn't put more than a few seconds' thought in to what they'd produced after determining it would appeal to their demographic and sell the product. And if they didn't, why on earth should I?
I had no response. Instead, I explained to a coworker I looked this tired because I was up past midnight doing homework. This being the truth, I took my coffee and my cup of pre-oatmeal (read: hot water) back to my seat and pondered a few other things that had been bothering me.
Here's the weird thing. Last night I stood outside utterly enthralled with the sway of the breeze in the night and the dance of fireflies above the grass and around the trees. It was like a summertime light string, or a faerie waltz through the fields like one reads about in childhood stories. It was utterly magic and I stood there in wonder for several minutes as they blinked and flashed and gently rose in the night.
The entire time I was praying that my little Holga was catching these little guys on its time-lapse exposure I'd set up on the deck. I bought a very high speed black and white film for the camera in the hopes that it would catch their dancing around the maple trees out back, but I won't know for sure until I get it developed. Hopefully it'll treat them like a time lapse light-kit and register them as little glow spots and light trails against dimly lit leaves.
What I'm really excited about is the fact that there was a lightning storm off in the distance during the latter part of the time-lapse. I didn't realize it was going on until I had already closed the shutter and saw the purple flashes off in the distance. If it was doing that for any length of time I have a dimly illuminated sky that helps establish that the fireflies are congregating around a tree. There's also a road off in the distance that is visible and that would have left light streams on courtesy of the passing headlights. It's rather expensive film to be goofing around with, but if I achieve what I'm hoping for, it'll be one of the greatest series of photographs I've ever taken.
Last night was perfect. Perfect temperature. Constant breeze. Lightning off in the distance. I loved it. I drank it in and hoped I could carry the peace I felt in that moment with me forever, even though I knew the futility of the wish. (as a Buddhist I know all things change, it has nothing to do with pessimism).
There's more going on in my head, about the awesomeness of the weekend and my family, getting to run screaming through a bonafide Biblical downpour, having the kitties dog-pile me once everyone was gone and fall asleep, happy to have me all to themselves... so many good things! I find my mind drifts to the immediate future and what needs to be taken care of and I smill but don't always document the past. There are pictures, and I remember what Mom and Julian looked like grumbling at each other over breakfast.
There's a lot left to do just that I'm aware of. I keep dwelling. One day I'll have the time and memory to set everything down, I suppose. But for now I'm going to look forward to sitting outside watching the fireflies this evening with Bob.

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