Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Actual Conversation (X-posted from LJ) A take on the Star Wars Universe in terms of OSs.

Robert: sigh Coder story: Long list of defects i had to fix. I keep being asked why they're not done yet, I tell them various reasons, one of which being 'they're non trivial'. One in particular I had estimated at 2 days of work. I get to it this morning. Time to fix: 43 minutes. Sometimes my competence makes me look bad.
me: But damn...you are good! :D
It must be awesome to be that smart.
Robert: Allegedly. :-)
me: Allegedly?
Robert: *chuckles*
me: Confirm or Deny!!!
Robert: NOES!
me: There is no alleging!
Robert: *laughs*
me: By the way, this makes me happy: http://www.macmod.com/content/view/371/2/
Robert: *laughs* That's cute
me: That is AWESOME.
Mac Death Star would be better.
Robert: The Death Star is obviously a PC...duh. 2 meter wide port that can blow up the entire thing? Think about it.
You can put a Mac in an Ewok if you want though. *nods*
me: OMG. *laughing*
This is true.
Then wtf is Linux?
Ooo...wait.... Yoda is Linux.
Robert: I thought it was those weird merchant guys in 1-3 would be linux, but maybe Yoda.
me: Kinda works with one, able to undermine the other.
Robert: JarJar can be linux. It's annoying and does his own thing but he's a main character and can be useful so we go with it.
me: No way.
Linux deserves better than Jar Jar.
If Mac is the rebels and the Empire is the PC.
Robert: Nope, I'm gonna write out the Jar Jar label for your linux build when we get home.
me: You will NOT
Me-sa gonna whup yo ass, meestah!
Robert: Mesa not sure why yousa so angry.
me: Because I don't want a 9 foot tall orange sped on my build!
Maybe he's not 9 feet. Maybe he's 7 and I'm short.
Robert: Well, maybe you'll get the older, more easily controllable senator Jar Jar version of Linux. Look on the bright side.
me: The bright side should be Linux.
And the Jedi.
No, wait.
The Jedi are IBM.
Because one of them birthed the Empire.
Robert: Sure, let's make Linux flowers and sunshine while we're at it. Linux is a cold, dark void that only the strong can survive in. Linux is Tatoine maybe. A harsh environment you have to build your own existence on.
me: But there are strawberries on tatoine and at least one bar with good music.
Robert: A bar where you get shot/your arm ripped off by major characters sure!
me: I would know not to piss off Han Solo.
Or a wookie.
Linux doesn't really fit in the Star Wars universe.
So I'm declaring R2D2 to be Linux.
Robert: No, I suppose it doesn't.
me: He's in the whole story, rather important, but in incremental ways.
Robert: incomprehensible but well meaning and strangely omniscient? I'll go with that.
me: nod
The Jedi are IBM.
The rebels are Mac.
The empire are PCs.
Robert: The Sith are Microsoft?
me: Yes.
In fact, we'll call them Windows Me.
And Darth Siddious can be Vista.
Too much going on, gets distracting, and crashes.
Robert: *sigh* I can't help but think this just propagates the stereotypes of the os's. Vista can be good! :-)
me: Well then find something that crashes a lot.
Maybe the ewoks can be Vista.
Anyway, R2D2 is Linux.
Robert: Hey! Now you're getting nasty!
me: And we'll call C3P0 Gnu.
Robert: Lol. Actually I think C3P0 Is unix. Very bland and serious and not sure what's going on half the time.
me: THERE ya go.
That stands.
Robert: And yet, powerful in his own way.
me: Yes.
He can interface with several thousand other languages.
So there ya are. Brilliant.
me: This is going up in LJ.
Robert: I was pretty sure of that halfway through. :-)

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